Doctor Who and the Vampire Inversion

Here's a treat: Paul Hanley, who you may recall provided the original art for Forgotten Lives, as well as a whole host of other Doctor Who, cult film and original art, has teamed up with Bret Herholz, another excellent artist and graphic storyteller with a penchant for all things Who, to create The Vampire Inversion, a completely free new comic featuring the Shalka Doctor (as played by Mr. Richard E. Grant back in 2003, and fleetingly appearing onscreen again in 2024).

For this adventure, Paul has written the script and Bret has provided the art, and his scratchy blac-and-white style really works for this gaunt and foreboding Doctor. The Vampire Inversion is a postmodern adventure into vampire cinema, which also explores the hidden corners of Doctor Who's own mythology. As the cover page teases: "Two Doctors, vampires and... Andy Warhol?!" When you've enjoyed the comic itself, you can also read Paul's original script.

Paul and Bret have provided this comic for free, but do suggest that you might like to make a donation to one of the charities they've chosen to support: 

The Transgender Education Network of Texas (TENT)

TRACTION (Trans Community Action)

Queertopia

The Central Florida Emergency Trans Care Fund

So, go on. Have a bite.

Remembering Tom Lehrer

It's been a little while, hasn't it? I've been busy elsewhere, I'm afraid. This seemed the place, though, to mark the passing of one of the greats of twentieth century comedy.

It's hard to actually feel sad at the news of Thomas Andrew Lehrer's death, given that he'd reached the impressive age of 97. The feeling is more one of, oh well, it had to happen eventually. Lehrer himself seemed to have been preparing for his death for the last few years, having put all of his song - lyrics, music and recordings - in the public domain. You can still access and download everything here, although Lehrer did warn that it wouldn't be up forever.

I won't go on with a biography of Lehrer; you can find that in any number of places. I won't spend time on his first calling as a mathematician, his still secret operations in the NSA, or his alleged invention of the Jello shot. No, I'm here, of course, to talk about his songs. Endlessly quotable, raucously singable, bitingly satirical and frequently verging on the obscene, Lehrer's songs are perhaps the greatest comedic songs ever written.

I didn't really come to learn about and love Tom Lehrer until very late on. I knew the wonderfully nerdy "The Elements" from a young age, although I couldn't sing it then or now. It needs an update, of course, with the latest sixteen elements added on, which will need to be inserted as an earlier verse so that the classic final lines remain, rhyming "Harvard" with "discahvarred." "We Will All Go Together When We Go" is another well known song; so fun to sing yet so dark in content.

It wasn't until my partner Suzanne introduced me to Lehrer's greater catalogue of work that I fell for him. I don't think I've ever laughed as much at a song as I have at "I Got it From Agnes," the absolutely filthy but very carefully worded story of communal diseases. It stuns me that he got away with that in 1954, and it became our Covid-19 anthem. 

Jostling with "Agnes" for my favourite is the gleefully mrderous "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park," which we have localised to "Cyaniding Seagulls by the Shore." Not that our parks aren't full of pigeons, or, for that matter, seagulls. High positions, as well, for "The Love Song of the Physical Anthropologist" (perfect for any anthropoid) and "The Masochism Tango" (truly, a love song for every couple, throuple or otherwise). 

Shockingly, there has never been a film of Lehrer's life, and surely now one will finally be made. Although who could be found to play him? An actor tall enough, gangly enough, who can sing such well-crafted lyrics with such speed and only occasionally trip over his tongue will be hard to find.

Still as unhappily relevant now as ever, Lehrer's satire only bites harder for being delivered in song. As a farewell, let's have one of his less celebrated compositions: "Pollution."

WHO REVIEW: 15-7 & 15-8 - "Wish World"/"The Reality War"

 

SPOILERS, I guess. But I'd be surprised if you don't know by now.

WHO REVIEW: 15-6 - "The Interstellar Song Contest"

 

It's a tricky one this. It simultaneously tries to do too much and doesn't go far enough. There's so much potential here; the initial pitch of "Eurovision meets Die Hard" is irresistible, while pastiching Eurovision provides the potential to be the most politcially charged episode in years. (Sorry, I forgot, Eurovision is not political. Honest.)

This is Juno Dawson's first contribution to Doctor Who proper, after writing the radio/podcast series Doctor Who Redacted (which I confess I disliked and didn't finish). It's a lot of fun, while also clearly being an allegory for real world atrocities. But which ones exactly? The obvious target is Israel's genocidal assault of Palestine, and the atrocious double-standard of allowing the country to continue to compete in Eurovision, while Russia was suspended for its brutal invasion of Ukraine. It's frankly impossible to read the episode without making this link, and it's genuinely surprising that the BBC allowed this to go out right before Eurovision itself, so obvious is the comparison.

Yet this was filmed over a year ago, possibly in time for last year's controversy over Israel's Eurovision inclusion, and Dawson would have written it months earlier. That said, even if she did write the script before October 7th 2023, it's not as if Israel's abusive rule over Palestine wasn't already well known, and their ongoing involvement was already controversial. There's also a lot of additional material that can be added during filming and post-production, with some elements - the burning poppy fields being the most blatant - that seem to be explicitly calling on the images of Palestine's suffering.

Yet the faceless villain here is "the corporation," with the Hellions being displaced and smeared so that their world can be turned over for a profitable commodity. Yes, this is a factor in Israel's plundering of the land and its backing by the US-led West, but it's not the driving force, nor what anyone would immediately associate with the genocide. This side comes across more as a general attack on global capitalism, having more in common with Nestle than Israel under Netanyahu. 

If this is meant to be about Palestine, then the story is muddled. Kid has a sympathetic background, but his actions are genuinely abbhorent. The attempted murder of 100,000 people is already a vast crime; to then try to kill three trillion is beyond insanity. If he had killed a thousand people and taken hostages, with the corporation then killing thousands of Hellions in retaliation, the allegory would be inarguable. The link is too vague, Kid's actions too extreme, the corporation too bodiless to really work as a story about Palestine, yet there's no way to watch this in May 2025 and take it as anything else.

At the time of writing, we still don't know why Ncuti Gatwa dropped out of presenting the UK's votes on Eurovision at the last minute. We can certainly speculate that he was going to say something that the BBC disapproved of. It almost feels like this is one half of a presentation that was never allowed to finish. 

As with the real Eurovision, "The Interstellar Song Contest" remains a lot of fun, in spite of the politcally-charged controveries that sit beneath the surface. It's still a staggeringly messy episode, though, with way too many elements jostling for attention, which is presumably largely down to RTD using it to set up parts of his ongoing season arc. I think that bullet points are actually the best way to approach it, since it seems like the script was written from a shopping list template:

• Rylan Clark: I don't like Rylan much. I find him very irritating. But his inclusion here is a fun joke, and he's actually not in it all that much. It's a bafflingly odd idea that he will be the last surviving representative of the Earth after its destruction.
• Gary and Mike: Charlie Condou and Kadiff Kirwan are lovely as the pseudo-companions of the episode. Are they human? If they are, how many people survived the end of the Earth and spread into space? If they're not, why are they called Gary and Mike? Either way, I like them.
• Cora Saint Bavier: A lovely performance by Miriam Teak Lee, and her song at the climax is surprisingly moving, given that I had no way to understand it. Was it based on a real language? Or was it entirely invented?
• The Hellions are odd in their presentation. Their name and appearance is most evocative of Christian demons, of course, which is another element in the jumble. It's also a bit odd that the all-knowledgable Doctor hasn't heard of them.
• The Doctor's behaviour in this episode is astonishing. He outright tortures Kid and the most we get from him is that he scared himself. I'm not against the Doctor going off the deep end, far from it, but this desperately needed more fallout.
• Including from Belinda, who gets over all this very quickly. There's the potential for a powerful moment here, with Belinda succumbing to the Doctor's charms and lifestyle and declaring him wonderful - and then almost being stranded and seeing him lash out with extreme violence. Yet she goes back to calling him wonderful almost straight away. The drama drops out of it very suddenly.
• Susan. Now that was a lovely surprise, and a genuine one. While I assume we'll see more of her in the finale, this was a remarkably restrained appearance for Carole Ann Ford, the only surviving member of Doctor Who's original cast. While most viewers wouldn't recognise her, there's been enough talk about the Doctor's granddaughter lately for her appearance to have weight. For those of us who do recognise her, there's a frisson of excitement and nostalgia, and a chance to marvel at how good she looks for 84.
• Finally, the Rani. It's another last minute revelation that threatens to overtake the entire episode. Like the Rani, I'm in two minds. On the one hand, Archie Panjabi is perfectly cast as the Rani (finally, someone actually South Asian in the role) and owns it from the second she appears. After years of fan speculation and outright trolling from showrunners, it's great that she is finally back. And the way she is immediately dismissive of her earlier self, who is just as immediately subservient, is a fascinating take on the bi-generation idea.
• On the other hand... bi-generation again? Are they all going to be bi-generations from now on? The scene itself is almost completely bereft of drama. Compare it to "Utopia," which reintroduced the Master back in 2007. That episode was actually about the character of Yana, the secret he was hiding, and the nature of the Doctor's isolation. There was some seeding earlier in the season, but the episode itself did the work, and the escalating revelations - he's a Time Lord, he's the Master, he's regenerating, he's Harold Saxon, PM - felt both powerfully dramatic and earned. Compare that to this: two years of increasingly bizarre cameos from Anita Dobson, a tacked on scene in the credits of an episode that had nothing to do with her character, a regeneration that barely makes her blink and no Doctor present to react, so that there's no indication of why it's important that the Rani is back. 

I'm probably being too harsh on this episode, which is one I suspect I will stick on as a rewatching favourite in years to come. It's a lot of fun, but there's the nagging feeling that it could have been something much more.

Setting: Harmony Space Station, 2925

Future History: This is the 803rd Interstellar Song Contest so, assuming there's been one a year, means the contest started in 2123.

Contestants please: worlds completing in the finale include Alpha Centauri, Grajick Minor, Grimbald, Lizoko, Neptunica, Parallel 5, Piziatora, Trion, and the Zygon New Habitat, along with 31 others. Nice to hear that the Zygons got a new home, although it's a shame that we don't see any of them , or any Alpha Centaurians. Most of the alien extras we do see are either old make-up reuses or, apparently, costumes from a Coldplay video.

Doctor Who and the Earworm: Dugga Doo of Grimbald sings the eponymous "Dugga Doo," which you can listen to in its entirety here.

Links and references:

Trion, represented by Cora, was the home planet of Vislor Turlough, companion to the Fifth Doctor.

There's already been a Eurovision story in Doctor Who: the 2002 Seventh Doctor audio Bang-Bang-a-Boom! where it was called the Intergalactic Song Contest. There's something pleasantly gratifying about the TV series' first trans writer taking over a concept from Gareth Roberts, arch-transphobe.

There's a certain similarity between this and the Ninth Doctor's last story. Gatwa is playing his Doctor quite Eccleston-like in some scenes, and the delta wave being primed by Kid to wipe out the population of the western galactic arm is the same weapon the Ninth Doctor was going to use against the Daleks.

Appropriately, we finally get a Ninth Doctor character returning to the show. I speak, of course, of Graham Norton.

Sadly there was no mention of the Wogan. And he was a fan too.

Shout-Out: The Doctor was at Brighton Pride!

Maketh the Man: another new outfit but very in-keeping with his signature style, with a low-cut orange polo-shirt and brown plaid trousers. It looks fantastic on him.

Flood Warning: Spoilers. She's the Rani.

WHO REVIEW: 15-5 - "The Story & the Engine"

 

It's wonderful that Doctor Who is still willing to take risks and give us new kinds of stories after all this time, even as its future is in the balance and it would be surely tempting to trot out the same sorts of adventures time after time. There's room for an old-fashioned alien invasion story, of course, even in the short seasons we now have, but the show is so much richer for having unique episodes like this.

After taking on most of the writing duties himself last year, RTD has invited far more new writers for this season. They're also writers from varied backgrounds, one of the strengths of the hit-and-miss Chibnall era (although the only writer actually returning from Chibnall's showrunning is Pete McTighe, the one white guy of this year's guest writers). Inua Ellams, a celebrated British-Nigerian playwright, is the first black man to write for Doctor Who and only the fourth black writer at all. This is also, I believe, his first television script, one that reportedly draws on some of the content and themes of his stage work. Apparently, he originally piched a different idea that was too similar to another script in production, although this eventually fell through, so who knows what story this might have been.

Ellams, along with director Makalla McPherson, create an episode quite unlike anything we've seen on the series before. The most obvious thing is that the main cast is entirely made up of people of colour and, aside from Varada Sethu, entirely black people. If not for the flashback to the hospital (which could have featured only people of colour with no problem, were it not for the necessity of including Anita Dobson for her weekly cameo), and the parade of earlier Doctors, it could have been an episode that only featured actors of colour. It's also one of very few stories set in Africa ("Praxeus" took place largely in Madagascar, and we've had a few quick visits to Egypt over the years). Ncuti Gatwa got his wish for an episode set in Nigeria, written by a writerwith whom he personally wanted to work.

A Nigerian barbershop is both a wonderfully unusual setting for a Doctor Who story and a cultural space that will be new for a large majority of the audience. After "Dot and Bubble" and "Lux" had the Doctor confront racism, "The Story & the Engine" sees him revel in the inclusion his new form can bring. It's only right that the incarnation who appears as the Doctor's memory of Abena surfaces is the Fugitive, with Jo Martin being the only other black actor to play the Doctor (a fantastic and genuinely unexpected cameo). While they all get a look-in (the barberhsop patrons must have been wondering who all those white guys on the screen were), the other regenerations are a footnote in this celebration of the Doctor's busy past.

I was, based on the Barber's mastery of stories and the glimpses of the giant spider in the trailer, fully expecting him to be Anansi, something the script teases us with. We're so primed now for the Doctor to face down gods that we immediately accept that this stranger is one himself (or several, as he claims). That the Doctor laughs this off thanks to having apparently already met most the gods he claims to be suggests a much longer association with them, beyond the Pantheon of Discord, even before we learn that he tangled with Anansi back when he was a woman with dreds. This is the first story to present gods with any positivity, noting their importance, along with stories in general, to the human condition.

There's a certain incoherence to the plot among these many elements. Omo and the Doctor both act like the former tricked the latter into coming, in spite of the Doctor actually going to Lagos of his own accord to piggyback off their comms. Quite why a gigantic spider has made its home on the Barber's worldwide web is unclear, as is pretty much every aspect of how the ship's engine works. The mysterious little girl who helps Belinda - confirmed in the credits to be Poppy from "Space Babies" - is a baffling conclusion that will presumably be explained further down the line. This messiness hardly matters in a story so packed with inventive visuals and ideas. A barbershop that is also a starship, exisitng both in a Nigerian backstreet and the depths of space and imagination (as close to the original concept of the TARDIS that we've ever seen). A heart within a brain within an engine. A man willing to kill the gods and doom humanity because he's angry he wasn't credited for his work. An entire story centred around hair, from the infinitely regenerating haircuts to the story of cornrows (a vital piece of black history that will be news to many watching). 

While Belinda gets short shrift in this episode, it's an absolute showcase for Gatwa's Doctor, allowing him to go all out in a story that would not work for any other version of the character. Sule Rimi and Michelle Asante both give heartfelt performances as Omo and Abena respectively, but it's Ariyon Bakare who impresses the most as the Barber. He gives an unsettling and inscrutable performance, skirting around the scenes to begin with and only slowly becoming a bigger and more emotive presence in the story, until he is fully humanised at the end.

More from Inua Ellams, please, and more episodes from writers from different backgrounds, completely new to Doctor Who.

Setting: Lagos, Nigeria, 2019

Maketh the Man: After a TARDIS scene in which he wears an orange-and-green-striped polo shirt, the Doctor changes into a Nigerian outfit which includes a pale orange kurta-style top, a loose brown waistcoat, a black kufi cap and a necklace. It's a uniue outfit for the Doctor but sticks to this incarnations signature colours.

The God Squad: The Doctor reveals that he knows Dionysus, Saga and Bastet, and we learn of his encounter with Anansi. Yet he doesn't mention the other god the Barber claimed to be, Loki. I was expecting the Doctor to reveal he was Loki himself.

Speculation: A question that arises: how does the Doctor remember an event he experienced as the Fugutive Doctor, a life that was erased from his memory?

There are two possibilites. The first is that it's simply a matter of a memory leaking through, presumably triggered by the presence of Abena. We've seen the Doctor display the occasional bit of knowledge from Gallifrey's distant past, and seen the lost faces in his mind batle with Morbius, so this isn't entirely unheard of.

The second possibility is that the Doctor has opened the watch that contains his stolen memories. This is tempting to believe. Perhaps, during the Fourteenth Doctor's long rehabilitation, he decided to open the watch, meaning the Fifteenth Doctor was born with all his memories intact. This is possibly supported by his openness in discussing his being adopted; perhaps he actually remembers his original childhood now.

Further reading: Inua Ellams has also written a short prequel story to this episode, "What I Did on my Holidays by Omo Esosa."