WHO REVIEW: 14-7 - "The Legend of Ruby Sunday" and 14-8 - "Empire of Death"

After all that, it was just a shaggy god story.

It's been an uneven season, with some real high points and a lot of befuddling near-misses, but on the whole it's been solidly entertaining throughout. One thing's for certain: without the sheer magnetism of Ncuti Gatwa's central performance and the depth that Millie Gibson brought to Ruby Sunday, it would have fallen apart. Their performances have made the series, even in episodes where one or both of them were largely absent, holding the rest together.

They almost manage it with the closing two-parter, but can't quite hold together a storyline this careless. A grand finale in the style that Russell T. Davies gave us each year back when he ran the show the first time round, this unfortunately reminds us that those finales gave diminishing returns even then. Where once we had clear character development that was spiced up by a gently seeded mystery - Bad Wolf, Torchwood, Harold Saxon - this time we had a bundle of seemingly unrelated mysteries increasingly brought to the forefront, with little hope of a satisfying payoff. The identities of the One Who Waits, Ruby's birth mother, Mrs Flood and the various characters played by Susan Twist all jostling for attention, with no real clue why they'd all been forced together. Somewhere in there, these two episodes were also meant to have their own story.

There are a lot of elements here that, individually, work beautifully. I adored the time window, and the use of a scratchy old VHS, combined to allow Ruby to step back into her past and witness her own origin story, complete with flickering, rippling frame edges. Not that many people were still using video cassettes in 2004, but CCTV still did, and anyone who's had to review such a tape knows how satisfying it would have been to get close enough to actually see something. The revelation that the Memory TARDIS is born from this - the image of a TARDIS becomes a TARDIS? - ties in Tales of the TARDIS beautifully and is wonderfully poetic.

The visit to the last living survivor on a dead planet, giving us a gently devastating two-hander between Gatwa and Sian Clifford, is genuinely beautiful. It feels like a scene from an entirely different episode, quietly and carefully played against the bombast of the rest of it, while still tying back to the above, with the nameless woman having lost her child as a cruel reflection of the other unnamed woman giving hers away.

Every scene with Bonnie Langford just works, showing us just how wasted she was in Mel's original portrayal in 1986-7. Her embracing the Doctor as he sinks under the weight of the mounting threat, before cajoling him into action. Her gently cradling his earlier selves' costumes, holding onto those old adventures, as she slips away, unseen by the Doctor and Ruby. Just lovely work.

But it's all almost lost in the noise, and the sheer frustration at the story's incoherence. This is RTD's grand finale finally becoming a self-parody. "The Legend of Ruby Sunday" almost works through sheer verve, but it's ultimately less a story than a bunch of stuff that happens. It could have been saved by a second part that contextualised it all, but "Empire of Death" is somehow even less coherent. The missus and I spent the entire episode saying, "that doesn't make sense" and "that's it?" and words of that ilk. 

The moment Kate Stewart dies, the reset button looms over the proceedings, and then - poof! - everyone's dead, Dave. From that moment on, nothing matters, because the sign that says "Push to reset plot" is now lit up in neon orange. This is Doctor Who doing Avengers: Endgame, only with a fraction of the time and none of the logic. 

With his triumphant appearance in the closing moments of "The Legend of Ruby Sunday," Sutekh is reborn as a monster for the CGI age, even though his snarling demon form is somehow less imposing than either immobile mask that represented him back in 1975. Kudos for getting Gabriel Woolf back to voice him - really no one else could have done. While it's not his first time voicing a villain for the revived series - he voiced the Beast for 2006's "The Satan Pit" - nor even his first return to the Sutekh role, what with Big Finish and all - it's still significant to have him return to voice such an iconic character almost fifty years after he first made such an impression. (If you do look at this series as the new Season One, then, barring clips, I think he must be the first actor to appear in all three versions of the programme.)

I was a bit dubious when Sutekh was revealed as the one behind all the sneaky clues and cosmic games, and that he was being described as a literal god, seeing that he was traditionally of the alien astronaut, sufficiently-advanced-technology kind. Yet this is satsifyingly explained as his having evolved and attained true godhood, and while the trickster angle would genuinely have suited Fenric more than the blunt and brutal Sutekh, overall it works. His MO hasn't changed - he still wants to kill everyone and everything in the universe - and now he has the means to do it.

Straight away, though, the script cuts down its own concepts with elements that don't quite work the moment you think about them. So Sutekh has been riding the TARDIS ever since Pyramids of Mars? The sheer number of stories this renders baffling is outweighed only by the number of memes it has already inspired. Given that it was the Doctor's meddling at the edge of the universe that was supposed to have let all these gods and goblins in, why not use this already comfortably established explanation? Have Sutekh be stuck on the outer membrane of space/time until the Doctor pierced it, and then have him surf the TARDIS back to reality. Otherwise why is the Ship only moaning about it now?

Doctor Who never makes complete sense, and some stories make a lot less. Yet there are just so many infuriating choices and illogical conclusions and great flapping loose ends here it becomes aggravating. Off the top of my head: how can the Doctor fetch evidence from the evil Welsh PM's regime in 2046 when Ruby prevented that timeline from happening, and now Sutekh has ended life on Earth in 2024? It double-never-happened. Where does the Memory TARDIS go, aside from into the spin-off series? Why is Rose Noble working for UNIT, as lovely as her immediate friendship as Ruby was? Why waste Lenny Rush on such a briefly used character?  Why did the Doctor need to go to that planet and meet that woman to borrow her spoon? Sutekh killed living beings, he didn't erase all the metal in the cosmos. 

Perhaps most bafflingly, why end your massive relaunch of Doctor Who, intended to kick it into international streaming super-success, with a story so utterly beholden on the programme's ancient history? It's not that bringing back characters and concepts from the past is a bad idea, but to so deeply hold onto the original stories to the point of including clips from Pyramids of Mars and continually referencing Susan is a bizarre move at this stage. If only there'd been an appropriate opportunity for that kind of nostalgic looking back, say last year...

Ah yes, Susan. It takes some balls, I guess, to throw in an anagram so obvious that not only every fan will pick up on it, but even UNIT, who apparently aren't phased by a new recruit named H. Arbinger, and then to throw it out in favour of a vastly more stupid play on words. I mean, "Sue Tech," for goodness' sake (and no, Doctor, that isn't an anagram). It also takes balls to bate the die-hards with the return of Susan, only to have Twist's character revealed as, basically, evil Clara. In a way, I'm relieved. I'm not sure wha I would have disliked more: making Susan into a villain, or missing the opportunity to have Carole Ann Ford, the only surviving actor from the very first story, play her again.

In the end, of course, the indescribably powerful cosmic evil is beaten absurdly easily, because there isn't time for anything more satisfying. Everything's OK again. Except for the Doctor, once again beating himself up for being "a monster," as if killing the literal God of Death who just killed virtually every living thing in the entire universe is in any way morally questionable. Maybe he's just feeling guilty at the sheer cheek of saying he represents life after the shit he pulled when he looked like Jodie Whittaker.

So, mystery number three: Ruby's mum. The actual discovery of her, the meeting with her, the bringing her back into Ruby's life, is all beautifully done. I love that Ruby completely ignores the Doctor's sage advice about leaving things alone and goes straight into meet her. It's a stunning scene, and Gibson is once again fantastic in it. Unfortunately, we're then fobbed off with the "she's the most important thing in the world - an ordinary woman" reveal, which is such a let down it makes you wonder why we bothered. After all, it makes no sense whatsoever. Why could Sutekh not see this ordinary woman? Why does Ruby have impossible depths and is able to make it snow? I can only hope that the Doctor is hiding something from her, or that her father turns out to be something interesting.

Thankfully, we do get a strong goodbye scene, again sold by the talent and presence of Gatwa and Gibson. It's goodbye to Ruby, except we know she will be back next year. Not sure exactly what the set up will be there, but very pleased we're not losing Millie yet.

That just leaves mystery number four, the quite irritating Mrs Flood. She knows a lot, talks to the audience, and seemingly cosplays as old companions (there's a cohort of fans who are convinced she's Clara because she wears one of her jumper/shirt combos, but she dresses as Romana I in The Ribos Operation at the end). She also starts preaching some very strange portentous language when Sutekh is about to let loose, but then, half the characters start talking like that for some reason. At the end of the day, I can't really muster much interest, when it'll probably be another let down.

Settings: UNIT HQ, London, 2024; Ruby Road, Manchester, 2004 (kind of); somewhere in Britain, 2046; planet Agua Cantina, time unknown.

Maketh the Man: Nice black leather jacket, white T-shirt, jeans and boots combo from the Doctor. A good, practical, stripped down look for a tough mission. I liked his cosy poncho in the Memory TARDIS though.

Throwing back and spinning off: So, the latest Tales of the TARDIS takes place in the middle of "Empire of Death," with the Doctor taking an hour or so off recount an old adventure to Ruby while Mel quietly dies in the corner. As much as I love the cultural appropriation line (in the main episode) and the looting accusation (in the TotT framing), all this really does is highlight how much better Pyramids of Mars was than this.

How's Your Uncle? Pretty funny that while Rose is risking her life, Donna and the Fourteenth Doctor are nowhere to be seen, having nipped off to the Costa Brava or Planet of the Hats or something.

73 Yards: Interesting that this is linked to the TARDIS' perception filter, suggesting that the entire haunting experienced by Ruby and her being pulled back in time was down to the Ship itself.

The Shallow Bit: It's a pity Harriet Arbinger turns into a skull-face and then dies; Genesis Lynea (cool name) is rather gorgeous.

Gods and Monsters: The Pantheon is listed by Harriet, a nice mix of recognisable names and new creations:

• The Toymaker, the God of Games (The Celestial Toymaker, The Giggle)
• The Trickster, the God of Traps (a recurring villain on The Sarah Jane Adventures)
• Maestro, the God of Music, child of the Toymaker ("The Devil's Chord")
• Reprobate, the God of Spite (they're new)
• The Mara, the God of Beasts (Kinda, Snakedance)
• Incensor, the God of Disaster (new)
• Their children, Doubt and Dread (very Sandman)
• The Threefold Deity of Malice, Mischief and Misery (probably new but could maybe be the Gods of Ragnarok from The Greatest Show in the Galaxy)
• Sutekh, the God of Death

Intriguingly, Sutekh is described as "the mother and father and other of them all," in spite of apparently becoming a god later than several of them.

The Problem of Susan: The Doctor apparently hasn't seen Susan since he dumped her in the 22nd century in The Dalek Invasion of Earth, although he doesn't actually confirm this. The Eighth Doctor met her again in his radio series (and also separately in the EDA novels, but you try reconciling those two accounts). Very intriguingly, he suggests that he may not have had children yet, and may have grandchildren before he has children, although he's referred to himself as a dad several times (as recently as "Boom").

Sundry quibbles:

• Repeating a concern from "The Giggle:" what is the Vlinx, and for that matter, what is the point of the Vlinx? It says two words and otherwise just sits there looking stupid and costing money.
• Calufrax has been restored? Bit of a waste of time, it was dead in the first place.
• All of the fan baiting and references in this, and they cut out the scene of Susan Triad meeting the Zarbi? We was robbed.
• Of all the episodes that make you go "Huh?" when you realise Sutekh was sitting on the TARDIS the whole time, surely "The Giggle" is the biggest deal. There are two TARDISes now, so are there two Sutekhs as well?