CAPTAIN'S BLOG: TOS 1.22-1.23

TOS 1.22: The Return of the Archons

or

Captain Kirk vs the Computerised Society

The Mission: Search planet Beta III for signs of a lost starship, and find out what force has brainwashed Sulu and taken his landing partner.

Planets visited: Beta III: a class-M planet in star system C-111. This nomenclature is a bit confusing. Maybe C-111 is a binary star, with the planet orbiting the secondary or ‘beta’ component; the planet’s full name would therefore be C-111-Beta-III.

Alien Life Forms: The people of Beta III are completely humanoid, the first time a race is presented looking indistinguishable from humans but having no apparent link to them (even the people in ‘Miri’ were from a sort of parallel Earth). Once extremely technologically advanced, their society fell under the sway of an individual named Landru, who tried to halt its progress and essentially engineered the society in an attempt to create peace. Six thousand years later, the people live simple lives in a civilisation that appears similar to late 19th/early 20th century America. The younger generation are totally under the sway of something called ‘the Body,’ and are mindlessly happy and healthy until ‘the Festival’ starts, at which point they become violent, rapacious hooligans for twelve hours, letting out their aggression all in one go. The elder people seem to be allowed some degree of autonomy, and some, who immune to the Body’s effects, have formed a resistance.

Future Treknology: Landru programmed a computer to carry on his work after his death. The computer now believes itself to be Landru, and has created the Body as a method of keeping the population safe and happy as it understands the terms. It communicates with a holographic representation of Landru, but can also speak directly. It doesn’t last long once Kirk starts throwing problems at its programming.

The Body is a bit vaguely defined, but it seems to be an artificial collective consciousness maintained by the Landru machine’s brainwashing and telepathic influence. Lawgivers act out the machine’s will, but are unable to deal with elements beyond their received orders (in one funny moment, they decide that as Kikr has refused arrest, he must simply not understand the order). They carry hollow tubes which can channel the computer’s power, to kill or ‘absorb.’ Troublesome elements like Kirk need to be taken to a more powerful absorption machine. Other products of the Beta III tech include lighting panels which have apparently been functioning for the last six millennia.

Future History: A century before the episode, the starship Archon visited Beta III and went missing. The crew of the starship were either killed or absorbed, but caused enough trouble to pass into folklore. Aliens are now known as ‘Archons’ by the people.

Captain James T: Immediately decides to get involved when he sees that the society on the planet has gone awry. He displays no compunction about intervening in an alien culture and pushing it onto a path that he feels is morally preferable. Good for him, I say, but you can bet Starfleet won’t be pleased. When a Festival-crazed woman leaps on him and kisses him, he seems quite happy to let her stay there until someone wrenches her off him and he takes stock of the situation. After a dry run with the androids of Exo-III, here he starts his career as a skilled computer destroyer, talking the Landru supercomputer to death.

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin: Gets a good nerve pinch in. He hides his ears under a hooded cloak while on the planet. At one point, he seems to be sleeping with his eyes open.

The Real McCoy: Carries plenty of sedatives around with him. Poor old Bones gets absorbed, and goes quite mental when he realises that Kirk and Spock have evaded the process.

Future Fashion: The fashion on Beta III is formal and rather Edwardian. Kirk and Bones in particular look spiffy in their weskets and cravats.

Firsts and Lasts: The Prime Directive gets its first mention. Kirk dismisses its relevance in this situation, claiming that since it applies to developing cultures, interference in a stagnant culture is permitted.

Flash Forward: The collective consciousness here bears a resemblance to another which will one day arrive. For “We are of the Body,” and “You will be absorbed,” substitute “We are the Borg,” and “You will be assimilated.”

The Alternative Factor: ‘Return of the Archons’ is one of the episodes adapted for IDW’s ongoing comic series set in the continuity of the 2009 reboot movie. Although the basics of the set-up are the same, it proposes a very different account of the origins of this society, in which the USS Archon (there illustrated much like the Enterprise NX-01 but with movie-style Enterprise nacelles) is more central to events.

Verdict: A peculiar episode that seems quite out-of-place amongst those round it. It presents us with a planet that is essentially a skewed version of a period of Earth’s history, a technique tried out with ‘Miri’ and that will become common in the second season. ‘The Return of the Archons’ has something of the feel of The Prisoner, and is even a little Doctor Who­-y in places. This is perhaps unsurprising, since the theme of mind control was common in Sixties SF. The scenes that see mindless townspeople turn to attack the landing party, moving as one, are effectively creepy. Overall, though, it all feels quite inconsequential.

CAPTAIN'S BLOG: TOS 1.20-1.21

TOS 1.20: The Alternative Factor

or

Captain Kirk vs the Looney

The Mission: Investigate a devastating spatial effect originating on an uncharted planet.

Planets visited: An uncharted iron-silica planet with an oxygen-hydrogen atmosphere. It may have once been home to a civilisation, many centuries ago, according to an unreliable testimony. It’s also filmed, once again, at Vasquez Rocks.

Captain James T: He’s in a shitty mood throughout this episode. He automatically assumes the weird effect emanating from the planet is the prelude to an invasion. Kirk gets to be the first human to visit a parallel universe.

                “I want facts, not poetry!” he demands of Spock, but later gets pretty poetical on the bridge himself.

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin: Confidently calls Lazarus a liar, and is surprised when he is offended. Doesn’t like not having an explanation for the effects on the planet.

The Real McCoy: By now, “I’m just a country doctor,” has become a catch-all excuse for anything he doesn’t know.

Phenomena: A parallel universe exists, a “minus universe” composed of antimatter, and has come into contact with our own, creating a rift in space-time. When the two universes interact, they threaten to annihilate, and cause a “winking out” that causes everything to briefly cease to exist. This apparently stretches throughout “every quadrant of the Galaxy, and far beyond.” If they come into contact fully, the two universes will permanently annihilate.

Beardy-Weirdy: Lazarus is a peculiar man who has appeared on the planet and is the source of the conflict between universes. There are, in fact, two of him, one from the matter universe and one from the anti-universe. Unfortunately, the one from our universe is nuts. He and the anti-Lazarus battled, thrown into a “negative magnetic corridor,” a link between the two universes. Anti-Lazarus sacrificed them both, trapping them in the corridor, to prevent their battles from threatening the fabric of reality.

                Although he is identified as human, we can probably presume this just means humanoid. He claims to be a time traveller from the distant past, but much of what he says is suspect, in either version of the man.

Future Treknology: Lazarus has a tiny spaceship, a one-man saucer with a bubble cockpit. It’s very cute. He describes it as “a time chamber, a time ship,” and it not only allows him travel through time and space, but seemingly between the universes. Like the Enterprise, it requires dilithium crystals to function. The craft’s position on the planet is the point at which the universes are threatening to come into contact, with the negative effects emanating from that singularity.

Sexy Trek: Lt. Masters, played by the gorgeous Janet MacLachlan, is the main engineering character for this episode, replacing Scott who isn’t present. She was originally going to have a romantic relationship with Lazarus, but this was removed due to the worry that viewers in the southern states wouldn’t accept a mixed race romance. So much for Star Trek breaking new ground against that kind of prejudice.

Verdict: A strange, experimental episode, more like an episode of The Outer Limits than one of Star Trek. It’s better than its poor reputation suggests, with an interesting central dilemma and a mystery at its heart. However, it’s poorly structured, and Lt. Masters role has very clearly been stripped down. There’s altogether too much footage of Lazarus falling off rocks, and his beard appears to have a life of its own. Nonetheless, there’s some interesting imagery. The ending is very odd, with Kirk wistfully asking “But what of Lazarus? What of Lazarus?”

Harryhausen's Menagerie

Another month, another legend of screen lost. Ray Harryhausen died on May 7th, aged 92. Through a long and prolific career, Harryhausen became a legend in cinema for his pioneering effects work. His own brand of stop-motion animation, Dynamation, gave his work an unmistakeable signature. You can always tell when you’re watching a Harryhausen movie. There are tributes flooding the web right now, from many people far more illustrious than I. However, I wanted to show my appreciation for the great man by showcasing some of my favourite examples of his work. For me, these are the best of Ray’s many creations.

Mythical beings:

Talos (Jason and the Argonauts)

Absolutely my favourite of all Harryhausen’s creations.  The Dynamation technique works better here than in any other instance because we’re dealing with an artificial being. OK, so there were others – Bubo the mechanical owl in Clash of the Titans, for example – but Talos was the one that really gave a sense of huge, mechanical power. The moment when the 

bronze giant begins to moved, almost painfully slowly at first, the metal of his body creaking… just joyous.

The Sown Men (Jason and the Argonauts)

Perhaps the most impressive sequence that Harryhausen animated, this variation on the ‘Dragon’s Teeth’ legend sees the teeth of the Hydra sown on the ground, causing seven living skeletons to spring up. The ensuing battle between Jason’s forces and the skeletons is a masterpiece. Skeleton warriors also appeared in The 7^th Voyage of Sinbad.

The Cyclops (The 7^th Voyage of Sinbad)

The Cyclops is a favourite monster from Greek myth, and the version used for this mythical mismatch movie is the greatest take on the creature ever seen on film. The basics are there – a giant with a single huge eye – but interpreted as a demonic beast with cloven hooves and a single horn crowning his one-eyed head.

The Kraken (Clash of the Titans)

There’s no kraken in Greek mythology; this beast should probably be Cetus, the sea monster. No matter, it’s not much like the kraken of Norse legend either. There’s a certain element of the giant squid here, but it’s a very different beast to the classical interpretation of the kraken as a cephalopod or crab-fish. It seem to mix elements of human, reptile, fish and octopus into one vast monster.

Medusa the Gorgon (Clash of the Titans)

Another never-bettered interpretation of a well-known myth. I’ve always felt sorry for the Medusa of mythology, seduced or raped, depending on the version, then transformed into a hideous monster as ‘punishment.’ The Greek gods were a bunch of bastards, they really were. Anyway, Harryhausen’s version of the Gorgon is definitive. Each snake on her head was painstakingly animated with a life of its own. The serpentine looks carries on down her whole scaly body, ending not with legs but with a twitching rattlesnake tail. The Medusa who appeared in the 21^st century remake was great, but not a patch on the modelwork that inspired it.

Aliens:

The Mooncalf (First Men in the Moon)

What a fantastic film – based on the novel by H.G. Wells, with a screenplay by Nigel Kneale, and starring Lionel Jeffries.  While the Selenites and their ruler, the Grand Lunar, are fine creations, it’s the mooncalf, a vast, roaring caterpillar, that remains my favourite.

The Martian (War of the Worlds)

In 1950, Harryhausen and his collaborator Willis ‘Obie’ O’Brien began work on an adaptation of another Wells classic, The War of the Worlds. As much as I love George Pal’s 1953 movie, I wish we could have seen Harryhausen’s vision on screen. Thankfully, test footage of his take on the cephalopod Martian still survives.

The Ymir (20 Million Miles to Earth)

The starring creature of Harryhausen’s last monochrome work, the Ymir is a reptilian beast from Venus that crashes to Earth and grows to gigantic size. 20 Million Miles to Earth was a tribute to the work of King Kong animator Obie O’Brien, and the Ymir shares with Kong an expressive, emotional face. Harryhausen would use some of the elements of the Ymir in his Kraken design over twenty years later.

Miraculous animals:

Giant Octopus (It Came from Beneath the Sea)

A 50s B-movie classic, It Came from Beneath the Sea (AKA Monster from Beneath the Sea) was released in double-bills with the zombie movie Creature with the Atom Brain. This is a proper kraken, a huge, many-tentacled beast. The tentacles would later get reused as dinosaur tails!

Giant Crab (Mysterious Island)

One of my favourites due to its astonishing realism. Stop-motion isn’t a medium suited to realism, it’s about spectacle, but sometimes it pulls it off. The crab, of course, was made by animating a real crab’s shell. This movie version of the classic Jules Verne tale also included giant bees, an ammonite or nautiloid, and a Phorusracos terror bird.

Kasim the Baboon (Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger)

Not all of Harryhausen’s creations were monstrous. Prince Kasim is transformed into a baboon by witchcraft, proceeding to spend his time playing chess with Jane Seymour’s Farah. Harryhausen’s animation imbues the baboon with some real humanity.

Dinosaurs:

Rhedosaurus (The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms)

The first film to use the true Dynamation technique that allowed stop-motion animation to be inserted into filmed footage, 20,000 Fathoms features an invented dinosaur called the Rhedosaurus. It’s more of a gigantic lizard really, with a sprawling four-legged gait and a forked tongue. Whatever sort of creature it is, it’s a classic monster design. Released in 1953, the film predates Godzilla by a year.

Gwangi (The Valley of Gwangi)

This dappy film is a dinosaur/western mash-up. Gwangi is a Mexican Allosaurus . When he was done with the model, Harryhausen gave it to his five-year-old daughter and it became her favourite doll.

Ceratosaurus and Triceratops (One Million Years BC)

A Hammer classic that was a remake of the rather hopeless 1940 film, One Million Years BC is great fun but scientifically appalling. A bunch of white people in fur leotards have to cope with various prehistoric reptiles  that simply refuse to be extinct when they’re supposed to. The best part is the fight between the Ceratosaurus and the Triceratops, two genera that would never have met, while the cave people fight around them. Other prehistoric reptiles in this film included another Allosaurus, an Archelon, some pterosaurs and a ‘Brontosaurus.’

Everyone should check out the official Ray Harryhausen site too.

Ripping apart Star Trek (2009)

Just a reblog here. I adore the 2009 Star Trek movie, but both of these videos are completely right in what they say.

Except the thing about the black hole vanishing when it's eaten Vulcan. It's not gone, and it really does make sense. It's all about mass equivalence, but whatever. Click the link.

http://trekmovie.com/2013/05/07/nitpickers-honest-trailers-and-cinema-sins-take-on-star-trek-2009/

WHO REVIEW: 2013-6: The Crimson Horror

How many Victorian stories were there in 20^th century Doctor Who? Off the top of my head, I can think of only Ghost Light, The Talons of Weng-Chiang and The Evil of the Daleks, which is basically two and a half. Yet since the series returned in 2005 we’ve had The Unquiet Dead, Tooth and Claw, The Next Doctor and The Snowmen, plus A Christmas Carol, which was set in a retro-Victorian future. Now it’s back to 1893 for The Crimson Horror. I’m not complaining about this, far from it’ I’m merely observing the disparity. The odd thing is that I’m sure most casual fans (which is to say, people who anally retentive enough to actually know these things, like me) would have assumed there were far more Victorian adventures in the original run than that. Even the Victorian episodes we’ve had in the new series average fewer than one per season. It just feels that the Doctor spends half his time between 1837 and 1901.

There’s a reason behind this, of course. The character of the Doctor, as originally conceived, was a Victorian fictional trope: the gentleman scientist. Following William Hartnell’s time in the TARDIS, the Doctor went through several Victorian character types: the cosmic hobo was basically a down-on-his-luck Victorian gent, the third Doctor was a Victorian aristocrat transposed to the 20^th century, the fourth was a fin de siècle bohemian raconteur. Later, the fifth, six and eighth Doctors were all recognisably Victorian/Edwardian character types. The character just feels like he belongs in that era, and so it seems perfectly natural when he turns up there, even before you take his outfits into account (which made it so wonderful to see the decidedly un-Victorian ninth Doctor meet Charles Dickens).

After all the pervious forays to the period, it’s The Crimson Horror that plays the tropes of Victoriana most enthusiastically. Even Talons didn’t cram this much penny dreadful atmos into its six episodes as this story did into one. Of course, Mark Gatiss is so at home in this period that you’d think he was a century older than he really is. There’s a definite flavour of his novel The Vesuvius Club to The Crimson Horror; indeed, it wouldn’t seem amiss to see the Doctor bump into Lucifer Box. (Although Box is probably off shagging Captain Jack.) Really, though, this is off-the-peg steampunk, forty-five minutes of television revelling in the cod-Victorian stylings of this now popular genre. That’s not to denigrate it; while The Crimson Horror is neither the deepest nor most original episode, it’s hugely enjoyable.

The episode is strongest in its first act, following the peculiar investigations of the Paternoster Gang into the goings on at Sweetville. Vastra, Jenny and Strax remain the same one-joke characters that they were in their previous outings scripted by Moffat, but who cares when that one joke is still so funny? It pokes fun at the conventions of the Victorian period; it’s entirely possible to believe that society would accept a lizard woman and an extraterrestrial troll so long as they carried themselves with decorum and did what they could to fit into polite society. Even the lesbian marriage between Jenny and Vastra is believable in this context; we all know there were all sorts of perversions going on behind closed doors (not that lesbianism is a perversion, of course, but it most certainly was in the eyes of Victorian society), however, as long as they remained behind closed doors they were most often not commented on. The fact that it is also a transpecific relationship is barely worth mentioning.

So, yes, Vastra is still the aloof leader who happens to be a lizard, Jenny is still the sexy Cockney lock-pick and Strax is still the warmongering butler, but they’re all so good in these one-note roles that it’s impossible not to enjoy them. Dan Starkey, particularly, continues to steal his every scene as Strax, particularly when he gets a telling off (“I’m going to go play with my grenades,” he sulks, when prevented from perpetrating an act of war). He’s also, amusingly, in the right in this episode; say what you will about the ethic of the Doctor associating with a violent alien sociopath, if they’d followed his advice and gone with a full frontal attack the problems at Sweetville would have been solved in no time.

It’s almost a shame when the Doctor arrives, fourteen minutes in. The episode does go a little downhill once he takes over. While I doubt that the Paternoster three have what it takes to carry a spin-off series, they could easily carry an episode, but once the Doctor arrives he does rather overwhelm the other protagonists. Also, Matt Smith doesn’t get to do anything terribly interesting with the part, mostly just relying on his, by now, well-worn quirks. That’s no fault with him, though; he’s at his best when given something meaty to get his teeth into. The only really decent scene for him is his moment comforting Ada towards the end of the episode. He puts his all into his performance as ‘the monster,’ though, and his broad Yorkshire accent is a laugh (perhaps it’s time for a Yorkshireman as the Doctor?)

The flashback sequence, made up to look like scratchy old film, is a highlight, although it does rather show how brief the episodes have become. There’s a hell of a lot crammed in here. Some elements don’t need to be dwelled on; by the quarter hour mark, we know the monster is going to be the Doctor simply because it’s about time he showed up. On the other hand, the flashback condenses what could have been an episode’s worth of intriguing investigation into about six minutes. It’s compact plotting, I’ll give you, but sometimes a story needs room to breathe. Poor Jenna gets precious little to do as Clara. While this episode can’t be held to account for the whole series, it really is time we got to know her properly, and she really is very poorly served here. Jenna gets little to do but be plucky and look beautiful, and she’s a far better actress than the material she’s getting allows her to show. What’s more, the reunion with the Paternoster gang should allow some movement on the mystery surrounding Clara’s deaths, but this is mostly glossed over.

Really, though, this episode belongs to Diana Rigg and Rachel Stirling. It’s wonderful to have mother and daughter acting together at last – and how strange must it be, playing such a twisted version of your real life relationship? – but they both stand out so brilliantly on their own, with two very different performances. Rigg plays Mrs Gillyflower very broadly, but that’s just what the part needs; both actress and character look like they’re having a whale of a time with their roles. Stirling gives a completely different style of performance, a dark and touching role that buys the episode a good deal of its impact and horror. Without Rachel Stirling, this episode would have felt very light and frothy; she gives it a dark heart. It’s also interesting to see the pair of them in these roles, given that they tend to get cast as very beautiful people (unsurprisingly). Here they get to be ugly characters, a physically and emotionally damaged young woman and a truly cruel, insane old harridan.

The Crimson Horror proved to be one of the most enjoyable episodes of the season, an arch, over-the-top bit of nonsense that wisely never gives the viewer chance to dwell on how ridiculous it all is. Like pretty much every episode this year, the plot falls apart on a moment’s close examination, but when it’s as fun as this, that’s forgivable.

Title Tattle: The Crimson Horror is undoubtedly a reference to Gatiss’s favourite Doctor Who story, 1973’s The Green Death. Sadly, no one gets to say “This fellow’s bright red, apparently, and dead!”

Links and References: The Doctor mentions trying to get am Australian to Heathrow Airport, referencing Tegan from the fifth Doctor’s era. He then tops it off by almost quoting himself with “Brave heart, Clara.”

What? What? WHAT?! Just what does the Doctor do in his little locker that enables his complete recovery from the Crimson Horror and later revives Clara? I’m all for keeping technobabble to a minimum, but some sort of throwaway explanation would be nice. For that matter, how have Gillyflower and Sweet managed to create a steampunk rocket activated by a difference engine? And have the police really not been investigating the bodies washing up in the canal?

Monster, Monster, Monster! Mr Sweet is a red leech, a prehistoric leftover from the time the Silurians ruled the Earth. As usual, there’s no consistency regarding when this was: Vastra suggests it was 65 million years ago, the very end of the Cretaceous, while the Doctor refers to the Jurassic period, which lasted from roughly 200 to 145 million years ago. Mr Sweet, attached to his accomplice and providing a weird biological secretion, is reminiscent of Aylmer, the parasite in the 1988 movie Brain Damage.

Hanky-Panky in the TARDIS: Jenny’s sudden ninja moment is the sexiest thing I’ve seen on TV in ages. The Doctor would agree, judging by the look on his face (and screwdriver).

Threads: Love the Doctor's checked suit and brown derby. Clara looks beautiful in her Victorian dress,

Best Line: “Kindly do not claw and slobber at my crinoline.”

Best/Worst Joke: Thomas Thomas. Oh dear me. I love it.