REVIEW: Project Hail Mary

Project Hail Mary is destined to become one of my go-to feelgood films. A solid science fiction story, it packs in enough heartfelt emotion to have left me in tears repeatedly. While it's not the most original of stories, with the influences of previous sci-fi favourites easy to see, it combines these elements into a story that carefully balances human spirit, the wonder of the alien and the isolating vastness of the universe. There's a wealth of talent on this film. While I haven't (yet) read Andy Weir's novel, I understand that this adaptation follows it closely and that any significant plot points occur in both versions. Scriptwriter Drew Goddard also wrote the screenplay for the previous adaptation of a Weir novel, 2015's The Martian, but I'll always know him as one of the best writer on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, as a director on Cabin in the Woods, The Good Place and more, and as the creator of the Netflix Daredevil series. The film-making duo Lord and Miller created the Spider-Verse series and The Lego Movie. What we have here is a group of people eminently skilled in creating visually arresting worlds that use visual and physical effects to tell entertaining and moving stories.

Ryan Gosling is exceptionally good as Grace, managing to sell the character as an everyman in spite of being a certified genius and, well, looking like Ryan Gosling. (As an aside, I never really fancied Gosling before, in spite of his obvious charms. But put him wonky glasses and a chunky knit and make him play a dork and it's another story.) It's not every actor who can convincingly share scenes with a team-operated puppet, especially one without any recognisably anthropomorphic features, but Gosling handles it perfectly. The multi-talented James Ortiz brings the alien Rocky to life with what seems like ease, and his chemistry with Gosling is palpable, in spite of their being no scenes in which they actually interact. Indeed, Ortiz wasn't originally intended to voice Rocky alongside operating him, but the bond that developed between the two actors clearly made it obvious they should be performing together as two best friends of entirely different biologies. 

Sandra Hüller might be even better than either of them as Eva Stratt, head of the project. She portrays Stratt as a reserved and driven woman dealing with impossible choices, with deep and heartbreaking emotion threatening to break the surface at any time. Even when we learn what she has done and might be expected to turn against her, she remains completely sympathetic. And the film wouldn't be the same without Lionel "L-Boy" Boyce as the restrained but incredibly likeable Carl.

Telling the story in a mixture of flashbacks and immediate events works well, although the extent of Grace's amnesia isn't always clear and we're not always sure if he knows more than we do at any given point. There are some shaky conceits that need to be accepted for the plot to work. Sending someone on perhaps the most vital mission in human history when they don't want to go is surely a gigantic risk; even with two others on the ship, he could refuse to help or even sabotage the mission, regardless of how keen he was to help on the ground. I loved that Rocky's species, the Eridians, were vastly ahead of humanity in technological matters but lacked certain areas of scientific understanding, but it's still hard to credit that they could build an interstellar craft without any knowledge of ionising radiation or relativity. The reason that the astrophage hasn't overrun Tau Ceti is so obvious, it's quite painful waiting for the two genius space travellers to realise it.

It's also true that Rocky becomes significantly less interesting an alien life form once we are able to understand him; however, he becomes a much more loveable character in the process. There's room for a film where the alien is not able to speak in a cheerful American voice but remains a full and sympathetic character. However, that may also be a film that is fully focused on the discovery of alien intelligence, rather than balancing this with other huge and interesting science fiction concepts. Similarly, there's an argument to be made that leaving the story's ending open would be more effective, rather than the feelgood, almost saccharine final scene we get. On the other hand, Earth's fate remains very much uncertain, and it's hard to argue with that ending when I'm smiling so much.

There's inevitably been talk of following Project Hail Mary with a sequel. While it's surely essential that Weir write the story first, it could work. There are, after all, plenty of other star systems being impacted by the astrophage, and surely some of them must also be home to intelligent life. But perhaps this is a film that better stands alone. If the balance between this film's component parts was even a little off, it wouldn't have been anywhere near as good. Trying to capture that again might be unwise.

TREK REVIEW: SFA 1-1 - "Kids These Days"

Typical, isn't it? I finally find time to sit down and review Starfleet Academy and what happens? Paramount cancels it. It's a huge shame, because this series, in spite of how some fans feel about it, was a real winner for many more. Still, it's understandable. While it's tempting to blame review bombing and negative press, at the end of the day, it's an extremely expensive show and not enough people were watching. (At least in the States; UK and European streaming figures have been very positive.) SFA has been hovering outside the Nielsen Top Ten, and for a high budget, flagship series, that's not going to cut it. Plus, with the studio being bought yet again, it was an easy first move to cut it.

Still, season two is already in the bag and will be streaming next year, assuming Paramount doesn't do something stupid like they did with Star Trek: Prodigy. In many ways, Starfleet Academy is a continuation of Prodigy. Not literally, of course; it's more of a continuation of Discovery, sitting at the far end of the 32nd century and the frontier of Trek's future history. But Prodigy was Star Trek aimed at younger viewers, focusing on a group of teens of various species as they made their first faltering steps into Starfleet. The Doctor was even there, offering his wisdom and acting as Chief Medical Officer. It's hard not to see SFA as the next step, a more adult series, of course, but still resolutely aimed at young people. 

This is the problem a lot of fans have with it. It simply isn't aimed at them. Now, it's not aimed at me, either - at 42, I'm far too long-in-the-tooth for the target audience. I love the show, but I understand that's a rarity among died-in-the-wool Trekkies. But that's fine. This isn't a show for people who've been watching Star Trek for decades. It's a show for new, young viewers, and while it still needs to be Star Trek it doesn't need to be old school Star Trek. Now, I agree that there's a place for old school Trek and that nothing airing right now quite fulfils that remit (Strange New Worlds comes closest, but that's still an aggressively modern take on early Star Trek). But that's not what Starfleet Academy is trying to be.

Some fans have called it "CW Star Trek," and that's a pretty fair description of the show. Personally, I don't think CW Star Trek would have been a bad thing. If anything, it perhaps should have been more of a CW-style show, and turned out twenty-six episodes on a slimmer budget. That would have made an easier argument for keeping it around, without having to change the content much at all. As for people complaining that it's woke... yeah, it is. That's a good thing. As frustrating as it is to see people making the same complaints that they made about Voyager thirty-odd years ago (as Robert Picardo himself pointed out), being politically correct is, usually, a good thing. Infinite diversity, remember?

"Kids These Days" is a solid opener for the series, with a lot packed into its somewhat extended runtime. It introduces the new cast of characters, setting, and ongoing story arc with style and flare. The cast are uniformly excellent, even if not everyone gets a chance to really show their stuff in this opening instalment. Sandro Rosto is clearly pitched as the star as Caleb Mir, the cocky, genius runaway and criminal who gets to show he's a decent fella at heart. There's a bit of a trend for this kind of character in Trek recently: Jack Crusher, Dal Rel (his closest antecedent, really), even 2009 Jim Kirk (if you can call that recently). Still, with a full season of Academy-learning ahead of him, it's more realistic to imagine that he'll find his path and learn how to balance his cleverness and ingenuity with, well, not being a prick.

The second lead is, of course, Holly Hunter, bringing both Hollywood leading lady and weird little gremlin vibes. Captain Ake is getting a lot of hate and a lot of love from fan circles. Personally, I think she's great. It's always good to see an older woman in a lead role, especially on an action show, and this peculiar, 400-year-old officer, weighed down by the guilt of her poor decision years earlier but still an eccentric, chipper mentor character, really works. 

Robert Picardo is the big draw for existing fans, excelling in his portrayal of an older, tireder, more melancholy Doctor. It's interesting to see how his character here contrasts with his 800-years-younger version in Prodigy, when he is in an ostensibly similar position. Gina Yashere is an inspired choice for Lura Thok, the intimidating Klingon-Jem'Hadar Cadet Master. Some fans are getting upset at a female Jem'Hadar, but I can't get over having a Cockney Jem'Hadar! She's a hoot in every scene she's in. The other main "grown-up" Starfleet character is Admiral Vance, with Oded Fehr giving his usual quietly classy turn. 

Onto the rest of the kids. Karim Diane makes an immediate impression as Jay-Den Kraag (a Klingon called Jayden? Really?) Poised and respectful but full of Klingon energy, he's very much the new Worf. The remarkably deep voice he puts on is not his natural one, but feels exactly right for the character. I was intrigued by his make-up, which includes blue contacts and unusual whorls on his cheeks, and wondered if he, too, would be revealed as a hybrid. Seems like he's a full-blooded Klingon, though, and it's not like that species' appearance has ever been entirely consistent. 

George Hawkins as Darem Reymi mostly just gets to alternate between being charming and dickish, although his species, the Khionians, is intriguing. Bella Shepherd doesn't get to do much either as the ludicrously named Genesis Lythe. She's from another new alien race, the Dar-Sha, but Shepherd mostly just gets to look beautiful and gets little character work here. Still, this is only the first episode, and they do both get their hero moment. There will be plenty more to see from them as the season goes on.

Kerrice Brooks is an immediate hit as SAM, the Series Acclimation Mil hologram from Kasq. Again, there's a lot more to learn about her later in the season, but her character is so instantly clear from both the dialogue and Brooks's performance. The high-powered student who's desperate to both make friends and achieve is a cliche, but the idea of someone programmed to be that student so she can learn about organic beings is a great twist. If there's a complaint to be made about the young characters, it's that they are fundamentally cliched archetypes for this kind of show, but mapping this to the distant future makes that future easily relatable.

Finally, the anti-Starfleet side. Tatiana Maslany is a great actor but doesn't have a great deal of time to show that her. Fortunately, we'll be seeing more of her. Paul Giamatti is just fabulous as Nus Braka, our new Big Bad. Braka is a fully evil, over-the-top villain, and Giamatti plays him appropriately, hamming it up to the max. Half that enormous budget must have been spent replacing the scenery after he was finished chewing it. In spite his loudly villainous character, like the somewhat similar character of Harry Mudd (at least on Discovery), Braka has a point when he criticises Starfleet in general and Ake in particular. It's important that Starfleet, even being positioned as good for the Galaxy, isn't beyond reproach. Ake made a serious error in judgment in having Anisha Mir locked up and separated from her son, but she was just following orders, as they say. The seriousness of a powerful government sending uniformed troops out to arrest aliens and separate them from their children shouldn't take too much extrapolation to the modern day, even for the most cloth-headed viewers.

There are, admittedly, some massive plot holes in "Kids These Days." This is nothing new in Star Trek, but they still rankle when you notice them. Sure, Caleb Mir is a genius, but his escape from Starfleet Custody as a six-year-old srains belief a bit too far. Braka's plan to ensnare the Athena relies on a hell of a lot of luck. Ake could easily have decided just not to investigate the phenomenon when the ship already has a destination to get to. There are some oddities that are par for the course for a series like this: modern slang that will date quickly; actors well into their twenties playing teenagers. It's a little odd having that in Star Trek, but it's exactly what you'd expect from what is, at its heart, a teen drama series. 

Importantly, though, it works as set-up for the series. In the post-Burn galaxy, we get why Starfleet Academy is a big deal and an altogether good thing. The galaxy is still in turmoil and things aren't fixed overnight. People are suffering out there and others are taking advantage of that. This, arguably, includes Starfleet, with Ake essentially blackmailing Caleb to join because she's decided it's the best path for him. But we also see that having structure and support around does help him, and that Starfleet is working to change how it interacts with the galaxy. For all the background about the resurgance of Starfleet, the threat of the Venari Ral pirates and all the other troubles in the galaxy, this is actually quite a small scale story, focusing on Caleb's choosing of his path.

The season as a whole follows up on all of this, albeit not entirely successfully, but as first episodes go, this is a strong opening to a fine, if very different, kind of Star Trek. 

And if you don't like it - that's fine. But I rather loved it.

Character notes: 

Nahla Ake was born in the 2770s, a period of Trek history we know very little about. She's a solid four hundred years older than Caleb and his fellow students. (Except SAM, she's only a few months old.)

The Doctor still loves his opera, so not that much has changed in the last 820 years. He's also added an ageing subroutine to his programme, ostensibly to put organics at ease.

Alien life forms:

A lot of fans have cried out against Lura Thok being having a female Jem'Hadar and a hybrid, in spite of the Jem'Hader being canonically all male and unable to procreate. She merely describes herself as from "the Jem'Hadar lineage of Kah-Baj," which doesn't necessarily mean natural procreation by a Jem'Hadar, although even the existence of a female Jem'Hadar is previously unheard of. More pertinently, the Jem'Hadar are an artificial species and it's been 800 years. They could have undergone any amount of re-engineering in that time. Revelations like this, that go against established lore, open up new questions and storytelling avenues. We get to ask, "How?" and "Why?" That's far more enjoyable than, "Not allowed."

The Khionians have two forms: one which looks human, and another which is more fish-like and allows them to withstand the vacuum of space for a short time.

The Torothans, who arrest Caleb, appeared in ENT: "Desert Crossing." They were the dominant faction on their, then unnamed, planet. Fast forward a thousand years, and they're clearly still in charge there. The planet is now named Toroth, which I guess means they got to decide what it was called.

Braka refers to himself as a "Klingarite," and according to background info, is half-Klingon, half-Tellarite. Even given how much variation there is in Klingon appearance, Braka looks very little like either species. But then, who knows what such a mixture should look like?

Planets visited:

The Little Blooms facility on Bajor cares for orphaned kids of various species. This was where Caleb was supposed to go before he escaped. We see Orions and Suliban there when Vance visits Ake. Bajor is probably a Federation member in this time period. This is the first time the planet actually appears outside of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Starships and stations:

The USS Athena NCC-392023 is an Academy-class starship, and is both a serving vessel and the new campus of Starfleet Academy, able to land and dock in the traditional site in San Francisco.

Nitpicks: 

Why are cadets allowed to open the airlocks, but not wear spacesuits? The other way round would be strange enough, but this way round is lethal!

The "wall of honour" is a nice touch, even as what's really just a list of popular characters for fans to spot. I'm not keen that we see Lt. Nog listed - I just won't accept that he didn't make captain. On the other hand, given that the last row is made up of name of the writers and directors, it's orobably safe to ignore it. 

I love...

... the new 60th anniversary intro animation. At least Paramount are doing something to mark it.

I don't love...

... that cover of "San Francisco" that plays when the Athena arrives on Earth.

REVIEW: Nobody's Sweetheart Now by Dale Smith

Dale Smith has somehow managed to write the perfect novel for me. There aren't very many people who would call a Goodnight Sweetheart pastiche/crossover with the periphery of the Doctor Who universe their perfect novel, but I am one of them. Stuart Douglas, head honcho of Obverse Books and commissioner of this novel, is another. Presumably, so is Dale Smith, and potentially, given the book's dedication, so is Richard Herring.

Nobody's Sweetheart Now is the third book of The New Adventures of Iris Wildthyme, which you can tell, because it's got the number two on the spine. The previous book, Courtney Milnestein's Mother, Maiden, Crone, was an unnumbered special and came out almost six years ago; book one, The Polythene Terror, by Iris's creator Paul Magrs, came out in 2019. I'd assumed this series had ended almost as soon as it began, so I'm very happy to see another book, by the brilliant Dale Smith, no less. 

Goodnight Sweetheart is an old favourite of mine, a cosy nineties sitcom with a fantasy bent. Nicholas Lyndhurst, as Gary Sparrow, travelled through time via a redbrick alleyway, walking happily between the 1940s and the 1990s, engaging in transtemporal bigamy. It got a bit more sci-fi towards the end, but mostly it was about the difficulties of leading a double life and the amusing situations that then arise. It was a fun series with a great cast, even when both of Gary's wives regenerated into new actresses halfway through.

Nobody's Sweetheart Now starts as an obvious parody, barely changing the character names. Gary Sparrow is now Trevor Tern. Ron is now Don. It's been moved from London to Manchester, but otherwise it seems like a pretty straightforward riff on the TV series, aside from the raucous presence of Iris Wildthyme. The truly inspired part is that both Gary's – sorry, Trevor's – wife and girlfriend are incarnations of Iris, the latter going by Ursula but actually being a rarely seen regeneration of the transtemporal adventuress. 

As it progresses, though, the book becomes something far cleverer than a mere pastiche. It's approximately 750% gayer, for a start, which becomes clear from the moment Trevor sets foot in the wartime pub and only develops from there. From the outset there's a clear theme of the dangers of nostalgia – especially the second-hand kind of nostalgia for a time one never lived through. Rose-tinted glasses aren't good for your eyes, it turns out, even if they do look fabulous. The deeper, more affecting theme, though, is the importance of being true to yourself, of embracing who you really are, whether you're a closeted man living an unsatisfying life or a time traveller who gave up the right to their name. 

This book is a very funny, joyfully silly and rather beautiful piece of work. Please, Obverse, don't let this be the last New Adventure for Iris. 

Nobody's Sweetheart Now is available from Obverse Books in paperback and ebook formats.

The latest reviews at Television Heaven

2026 has started strong with reviews of Matt Smith's grimly comedic Brighton drama The Death of Bunny Munro and Doctor Who spin-off The War Between the Land and the Sea. Plus, season four of classic Doctor Who is now complete, with my reviews of The Smugglers, The Underwater Menace (what a classic) and The Moonbase, plus The Highlanders and The Evil of the Daleks from site chief Laurence Marcus.

So if you want to know what Matt Smith got up to in the block of flats where I live, how underwater civilisations looked in 1967and 2025, and just which alien menace mocks "stupid Earth brains," you're just a click away.

2025 films of the year

It has been a bit of a year for me, and I haven't had the opportunity to see nearly as many new films as I'd have liked, let alone write up the ones I have seen. I've decided to run down through my top ten for the year, but there are plenty more films to catch that could shift the line-up, especially given the number of high-profile and acclaimed releases in late November and December. I may revisit this in another twelve months and see if it's changed. I'm going to appraoch these in order of lowest to highest rated, according to my own flawed opinions.

Honorable mention: Nosferatu (Robert Eggers)

Strictly speaking, Nosferatu is a 2024 film, but as it went on general release with only a week left of 2024, most of its run was in '25. A bleak and beautiful film, this updates the original Symphony of Horror into a vampiric epic. Lily-Rose Depp gives the star performance of a powerful cast, in a truly haunting production that's exquisitely realised. It loses momentum halfway and runs too long, and it's not nearly as strange as either the original or Eggers's best work, but it's still an exceptional film. If it had come out a week later it'd have sat at number three on this list. Full review here.

10) The Running Man (Edgar Wright)

I'm pretty sure this one wouldn't have made it into the top ten if I'd caught more films this year. This isn't a great film, but it is an entertaining one. The second film of the year based on a Stephen King novel with a title based on perambulation, The Running Man is the least stylish of all Wright's films, but still way more stylish than most action movies. The general consensus is that Glen Powell is miscast as the lead, and that's probably fair, but he's watchable enough to carry the adventure. There are occasional glimpses of Wright's unique style, and it's sure as hell better than the shitty 80s version starring Arnie. The film has a strong message against corporate greed and the rich's exploitation of the poor, but it's hard to swallow in a film that cost $110 million where the catering budget doubtless cost more than most people's annual salary.

9) Predator: Badlands (Dan Trachtenberg)

Amazingly, the second Predator film from Trachtenberg this year. Killer of Killers was better than I expected, but it was Badlands that I really enjoyed. We've had the popcorn movie approach with Predator before, with varying results, but Trachtenberg really has nailed three different takes on the concept in short order. This is Predator as a full-on comicbook-style action movie, with legions of CGI monsters. This should be crap, but it tremendously entertaining and surprisingly heartwarming film. Showing the film from the Predator's point of view was a bold move, but making him such a likeable goof makes the film. It's hard to say how much of Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi's performance actually makes it through the CGI, but let's give him the benefit. Elle Fanning's the star, though, as both Weyland-Yutani androids Thea and Tessa. Tying the film so heavily to the Alien series without actually including the monster works brilliantly, as well.

8) Wake Up Dead Man (Rian Johnson)

The third film in the Knives Out/Benoit Blanc series is not, sadly, the hoped for Muppet version, but a stylish and highly personal crime story from Johnson. Although he was raised as an Evangelical Protestant, he chose Catholicism for its potent imagery. It's just as appallingly hypocrytical an institution, after all. There's a potent story here about the conflict between the comfort that faith brings and the damage done by indoctrination, with excellent performances from Josh O'Connor, Josh Brolin, Glenn Close and, of course, Daniel Craig. The rest of the cast don't get the chance to show how good they are, sadly, and the actual mystery at the heart of the story isn't original or confounding enough to live up to the rest of it. Compels me, though.

7) 28 Years Later (Danny Boyle)

The follow-up that 28 Days Later deserved, with Boyle returning to the post-apocalyptic Britain he created, (frustratingly only 22 years later). The exploration of how society has adapted to a world infected by the Rage, both the isolated community on Lindisfarne, and to a lesser extent, the rest of Europe on the other side of the quarantine line. I can't quite decide who gives the best performance: 14-year-old Alfie Williams as the courageous young Spike, who's never known any other world but this; or Jodie Comer as his dying, mentally-distressed mother Isla. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is also very good as dad Jamie, pushed to understandable extremes by the stresses of his life, as is the great Ralph Fiennes as the isolated Dr. Kelson. Also fascinating is gradual revelation that the infected remain, if not intelligent in a human sense, then clearly sentient, with the sport-like hunting of them even more disturbing as a result. Judging by the final scene, the second part, The Bone Temple, is going to be bizarre.

6) The Penguin Lessons (Peter Cattaneo)

Although this premiered in 2024, it didn't go on general release until '25, so it definitely belongs on this list. Based on the memoir of Tom Michell, this is the story of how he arrives to teach English in a school in Argentina, in the middle of the 1976 military junta. Steve Coogan is funny, sympathetic, and surprisingly hot as Michell, who ends up rescuing a penguin from an oil slick, in a desperate attempt to get laid on a break in Uruguay. Adopting the penguin - Juan Salvador - and smuggling him into the school, he is able to inspire his students and find some purpose, but the military's abuse of power soon comes out of the background and begins to impact him and those he has become close to. The comedy is gentle, but not the drama. Disturbingly more topical each day in its exploration of life under fascism, this is an undersung success.

5) Superman (James Gunn)

Gunn's relaunch of the Superman movie franchise and reboot of the DC Universe is quite unlike any Superman film that's come before, and yet is the most satisfying film for the character since Superman II over forty years ago. This doesn't feel much like a Superman film, but it does feel like a Superman comic, which makes a huge difference. Skipping the origin story is standard now, but this feels deep into its universe even as a first instalment. Clark is just one of many powerful beings working as heroes, yet stands apart from the metahumans, something that works far better than I would ever have thought. Having him and Lois already deeply in love and managing their relationship is another plus. Yes, this takes a few hints from the CW but in a vastly more cinematic way. Clark is the giant Boy Scout he always truly was, with David Corenswet giving a wonderful performance, while Rachel Brosnahan is actually perfect as Lois. Nicholas Hoult is remarkable as Lex Luthor, and a special shout-out goes to Edi Gathegi for stealing his every scene as Mr. Terrific. Amazingly, this film manages to both be a bold statement on today's genocide-steeped world, while still being a wholesome live-action cartoon featuring Krypto the Superdog.

4) Thunderbolts* (Jake Schreier)

The second of three MCU films out this year, and while Brave New World was better than I expected, and Fantastic Four: First Steps was decent if unremarkable, Thunderbolts* was a genuine surprise. I did not expect Marvel's answer to The Suicide Squad to be a powerful examination of depression and mental illness. Florence Pugh is the standout as Yelena Belova, dealing with the unbelievable trauma of death and resurrection as well as a truly horrific upbringing. While superhero films can get too serious for their own good sometimes dealing with trauma in a realistic way, in the right setting it works. It's an ensemble by its nature, but the other dominant performance is Lewis Pullman as Bob Reynolds, whose journey through mental illness is powerfully expressed through the allegory of his good and evil superhuman personae. It'll be interesting to see how Bob/Sentry will be used in the future, being essentially Marvel's deliberate Superman ripoff; based on Thunderbolts* alone, his character is one of the best things introduced to the MCU in a good while. 

3) Sinners (Ryan Coogler)

Vampire films are such well-trodden ground, it's incredibly refreshing when one as original and unique as Sinners appears. It's unsurprising that Coogler took some inspiration from From Dusk Till Dawn, but this is far and away the superior work in every way. The direction, music and visual effects are impeccable throughout, but what sets Sinners apart from so many vamp-fests is that it's actually about something. The indelibly racist history of America, the ongoing abuse of Black people and other minorities in the West, the cultural and binding power of music, the strengths and weaknesses of Christian belief, the kinship between Black and Irish... this is a dense film worthy of serious analysis. Michael B. Jordan is predictably excellent as gangster twins Smoke and Stack, with Hailee Steinfeld and Miles Caton (the latter, astonishingly, in his film debut) also giving powerful performances. The fact that half the costuming and period material was bought from Disney after Marvel stopped production on Blade is the icing on the cake. This is how you make a modern vampire film when you know what you're doing.

2) Frankenstein (Guillermo del Toro)

The film del Toro was surely born to make, the latest adaptation of Frankenstein blows so many others out of the water. While far from being a faithful interpretation, del Toro's script captures much of the spirit of Shelley's novel, with a strong focus on Frankenstein's selfishness and abandonment of his responsbilities. Oscar Isaac, one of today's great character actors, gives a riveting performance as Frankenstein, with able support from Mia Goth and Christoph Waltz. However, the real star of the film is Jacob Elordi as the Creature, giving a nuanced and powerful performance that is both deeply sympathetic and frequently terrifying. Del Toro remembers the oft-forgotten detail that the Creature was intended as a perfect example of human form, with the design and Elordi's performance elevating the monster to a thing of twisted beauty. Achingly sad in places and quite beautiful throughout, in its own gruesome way, this makes a perfect companion piece for Nosferatu as classic horror bookends for the year. It deserves a proper theatrical release, but at least having it on Netflix means plenty of people will watch it.

1) The Long Walk (Francis Lawrence)

In October I said this would be my film of the year, and I stand by it. I'll also likely never watch it again. The other Stephen King adaptation in this list, The Long Walk shares some notable themes with The Running Man, each story essentially being about the way the powerful exploit the masses through scraps of generosity, the promise of opportunity, and ever more twisted entertainment. It's a far more serious, brutal and emotionally honest story, though. Cooper Hoffman gives a strong lead performance as Ray, but it's David Jonsson, rapidly becoming my one of my favourite young actors, who is the heart of the film as Ray's friend Pete. A brutal production in both filming and presentation, The Long Walk is harrowing but a must-see. Full review here.

Doctor Who - the complete season three reviews now up

We've been slowly moving through season three of the classic Doctor Who over on Television Heaven and we've now, with my reviews of The Massacre and The Celestial Toymaker, filled up all the gaps. The complete season three rundown is now available to read:

• Galaxy 4
• Mission to the Unknown
• The Myth Makers
• The Daleks' Master Plan
• The Massacre
• The Ark
• The Celestial Toymaker
• The Gunfighters
• The Savages
• The War Machines

All the above reviews are by me, excepting the two Daleks stories, which are both by site head honcho Laurence Marcus.

While you're over there, I've also reviewed the late '90s ITV sci-fi serial The Last Train. Next up will be the BBC's Invasion: Earth and the first serial of Doctor Who's fourth season, The Smugglers.

Virtual Boy Wario Land: The forgotten Wario game

 

1995 saw Nintendo release some of its best platformer titles. Yoshi's Island, Donkey Country 2, Donkey Kong Land, Kirby's Dream Land 2 – all were released this year for the SNES (the former) and Game Boy (the latter). There's one, however, that's been almost forgotten, along with the console it was released for, at least until Nintendo's surprising recent new for its Switch Online/Nintendo Classics service.

Virtual Boy Wario Land is the follow-up to 1994's excellent Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3. Like that game, it was created by Gunpei Yokoi and Hiroji Kiyotake, leading Nintendo R&D1. Indeed, it was Yokoi and his team who had created the Virtual Boy itself. Nintendo's entry into the 32-bit console market (hence the development code VR32), the Virtual Boy was intended to maintain Nintendo's market share while the Nintendo 64 was in development, to follow the handheld success of the Game Boy and make the jump to true 3D gaming for the company. It was a bold experiment: a portable 3D gaming system. There were, however, some problems: it wasn't portable and was barely 3D.

The Virtual Boy used mirrors to create a basic stereoscopic 3D effect, housed within an all-encompassing headset that caused neck strain and motion sickness if used freely; instead, it sat on a tabletop tripod. The display used red LEDs (the lowest-energy colour to generate and therefore the cheapest) to create harsh, red-and-black graphics. Test users complained of nausea and headaches, so the system was released with mandated rest breaks built in which automatically paused games mid-play. The Virtual Boy, released unfinished and misconceived from the start, was a hopeless failure.

Some have blamed the quality of the games for its failure, but it was really the hardware that was at fault. Only twenty-two games were ever released for the system due to its short market life; a selection of twenty-two games plucked from the range for the NES, SNES or Game Boy would be unlikely to contain many classics. The planned Mario platformer title (known variously as VB Mario Land and Mario Adventure) never made it past the demo stage, with its included 3D version of Mario Bros. released separately as Mario Clash. There was no Zelda title, no Metroid, and a port of Donkey Kong Country 2 was written off early in development. Given time, though, it's probable that Nintendo's flagship series would have been represented, improving the sparse game library.

Virtual Boy Wario Land is the one Virtual Boy game that achieved consistently good reviews. Also known early on by its working titles, Wario Cruise and Wario's Treasure Hunt, and bearing the full title Virtual Boy Wario Land: Secret Treasure of the Awazon in Japan, the game is a direct sequel to the original Wario Land. Having loaded up with loot in the earlier game, Wario's enjoying a holiday at the Awazon river basin when he sees a troop of strange masked creatures disappear behind a waterfall. In the cave system hidden there, he spies vast treasures that he decides to add to his collection, before falling through into the depths of the cave network.

The game plays very much like its predecessor, with Wario smashing, barging and crashing his way through the levels. His primary moves remain the shoulder barge and the ground pound (now as a belly-flop bodyslam), and he is again reduced to a goblin-like stature when hit by an enemy, with another hit costing him a life. The power-ups are similar to those in the first game, albeit tweaked. A garlic pot again turns little Wario back to his full size. Three helmets give Wario powerful abilities: the bull helmet makes him super strong, the eagle helmet grants him flight, and the sea dragon helmet breathes fire. In a new twist, combining the sea dragon and eagle creates the King Dragon with both abilities.

The game employs the Virtual Boy's limited 3D to good effect. Wario can jump to areas in the background using special launch boards, allowing to access bonuses and sneak behind obstacles. While there's little practical difference between the 3D layers and moving up and down between areas by pipes and ladders, it's a fun gimmick that makes the levels stand out against other platformers of the time. Certain enemies also move back and forth, hiding in the depths and lunging at Wario. Aside from that, there's a small amount of 3D rendering to spice things up, but it's a minor cosmetic touch. There are coins to collect and monsters to beat aplenty; a great platform adventure in the classic Mario/Wario mould.

The big flaw with the game is its length. There are only fourteen levels, each of them a literal level in the cave system that Wario ascends using an elevator. This is less of a problem if, like me, you're not actually very good at gaming, since the levels are fairly challenging. A skilled player, though, wouldn't take very long to ascend the whole complex and complete the playthrough. Having all levels set within the caves makes good use of the black-and-red graphics, allowing for a suitably gloomy atmosphere, but it does make the levels a bit samey. Fourteen levels really isn't a lot, and four of them are boss-only levels. The bosses are fairly inventive, however, again utilising the depth effect in their attacks, although the first three are susceptible to the old-fashioned bounce-on-the-head-three-times method. The final boss, a floating demon with a nasty grin, is a little more complex, and again uses the depth process to great effect.

What the levels are, though, is fun. Like in the first game, there are special treasures to collect; one for each of the non-boss levels, hidden throughout the caves. Again, like the original Wario Land, the ending depends on how rich you are when you beat the final boss. The exact ending depends on your coin count, whether you collect all the treasures, and how quickly you reached the end, with a timer continually running as you play. Upon completion, a hard mode is unlocked, which needs to be beaten to see the final ending. The tricky, entertaining levels and the additional challenge of getting the best possible result add a lot of replay value.

It's a real shame that so few people got to play this game back in the day. Virtual Boy Wario Land was the highlight for the system, but with such a limited run for the console, not even being released in PAL regions, it never got the exposure it deserved. Nintendo's surprise announcement that Virtual Boy games will be made downloadable on the Switch and Switch 2 from February 2026 will hopefully grant this game a new audience. However, Nintendo's baffling insistence to make the games playable only with a new headset attachment (which essentially requires strapping the Switch to your head) will surely limit the appeal. While 3D imagery was always intended to be the Virtual Boy's selling point, most of the games – Wario Land included – can be played perfectly well without it, the depth feature still working from a gameplay point of view. With the hardware always being the Virtual Boy's biggest issue, it's a bizarre decision.

Still, it's refreshing to see Nintendo actually embracing the Virtual Boy for once. After Virtual Boy Wario Land vanished along with its console, Nintendo developed Wario Land II for the Game Boy and Game Boy Color, implicitly dismissing the Virtual Boy game from the series. Wario Land II went down a different route, more of a puzzle-platform hybrid with drastically rethought gameplay. In some ways, the real successors to Virtual Boy Wario Land are other game entirely. Donkey Kong Country Returns, Mutant Mudds, and especially the recent AntonBlast are all influenced by the game, most obviously through the use of depth levels. The developer of Mutant Mudds, Renegade Kid, even pitched a full colour remake of Virtual Boy Wario Land for the 3DS – Nintendo's eventual successful attempt at a 3D handheld. Bafflingly, Nintendo passed on this, what was surely the ideal way to bring this game back.

If you're a fan of the original Game Boy Wario Land and would love to play a handful of challenging extra levels, you're a Mario universe completist, or you just love great platformers, Virtual Boy Wario Land is worth seeking out. If the costs and discomfort of a new headset puts you off, there are plenty of Virtual Boy emulators out there which can run the game, many of which allow you to play with either the old black-and-red graphics or in a more retina-friendly greyscale. Give it a go if you get the chance. It's smashing.

Aliens, savages and evil computers

My latest reviews up at Television Heaven include Alien: Earth, the best installment of the Alien franchise since 1986, and the last two serials of Doctor Who season three, The Savages and The War Machines. I should hopefully have more up before the month's out. 

Next on the blog itself I'm planning to review Strange New Worlds season three, and mabe get back onto the Lower Decks and Prodigy reviews when I have time.

REVIEW: The Long Walk

 

Fifty boys walk in a straight line at three miles per hour for as long as they can. If they slow down or stop for too long, they’re shot dead. If they try to escape or even step off the road, they’re shot dead. The last boy walking wins untold riches and his heart’s desire.

It’s a grim premise for a story, and slim basis for a film. Frankly, that Stephen King managed to wring a novel out of it is impressive enough. The fact that he was nineteen when he did so is even more impressive, although it also explains a lot about the story, an angry adolescent polemic against society. Long dismissed as unfilmable, The Long Walk has actually been rattling round Development Hell for years, until finally being picked up by Vertigo with Francis Lawrence as director.

It's probably going to be my film of the year.

It’s one of the best films I’ve seen in a long time, albeit one that I will probably never watch again. It’s a harrowing experience as you are pulled along with the young men as they trudge painfully on. There’s levity there, but it’s gallows humour, the brutal laughing in the face of misery that so many of us learn in order to survive. The original 4 mph rule of the book was knocked down for being frankly impossible, but even keeping up 3 mph for hundreds of miles without rest is pretty unfeasible for all but the most immaculately trained superhuman. (You just know there are some hypermasculine pricks in the audience scoffing and insisting that they could win it.)

Cooper Hoffman is excellent as the central protagonist Ray Garraty, perfectly cast as a believable but damaged everyman, but it’s David Jonsson who really steals the film as the resolutely optimistic Pete McVries. The friendship between the two is the heart of the film, a friendship built in the most unfriendly of circumstances. We see the best of masculinity as well as the worst, with even the most unpleasant of the walkers (that’ll be Charlie Plummer’s Barkovitch) being sympathetic as we know they are all here out of desperation. Not one of them truly grasps just how brutal the Walk is going to be, with the possible exception of the stoic Stebbins (Garrett Wareing), and even he isn’t truly prepared for it.

Even with the novel’s hundred walkers reduced to fifty, there are too many to fully focus on. Tut Nyuot, Ben Wang and Joshua Odjick all give strong performances as Baker, Olsen and Parker, respectively. Olsen, one of the more unlikely contestants, is especially likeable, but in a way that only drives home how unsuited he is for the gruelling challenge. There’s an unpleasant complicity in the Walk from the audience, spectating from comfort just like the gawping onlookers at the roadside. The brutal Walk is fiction, of course, but the cast still walked for miles in order to get realistic footage, with Hoffman reporting that on some days they walked for up to fifteen miles in the heat.

While King wrote and seemingly set his novel in the 1970s, and the aesthetic of the time has been carried over to the film, there’s no real indication of when the film is set. This is to the film’s benefit, since the themes are timeless and can’t be pinned down to one era. Many have read an allegory for the Viet Nam War in the novel, and while there’s a clear parallel between signing up for the Walk and volunteering for military service (down to youngsters lying about their age to get in), it’s a broader story of desperation and hope amongst hopelessness.

Whenever it’s set, The Long Walk occurs in some distorted alternative history, where the USA has become a fascist dictatorship and undergone economic collapse after an unspecified war devastated the nation. The idea that it would take a war to inflict this on America is laughable; given what you people actually voted for last year, a lot of you practically volunteered for this dystopia to be delivered. As outlandish as the idea of the Walk is, it’s also depressingly easy to believe that it would be enacted, for inspiration or entertainment, and that desperate souls would sign up for it even knowing that it would almost certainly mean a painful death.

So much of the film is spent just waiting for the inevitable, a chilling feeling that makes it an uncomfortable yet compelling experience. None of it would work were it not for the depth of the cast’s performances. While the boys, particularly Garraty, are our way into this disturbing world, it’s brought to life by Mark Hamill’s gloriously loathsome Major, seemingly the head of the military junta in this reality and a snarling figurehead for the oppressive regime. In contrast we have the always wonderful yet still sadly underrated Judy Greer as Ray’s mother Ginnie, who essentially represents all that is good and all that is feminine and nurturing in this brutal state.

There are no punches pulled in this film. Injuries and illness are depicted graphically; there are no clean, screen-friendly gunshots here. Lawrence lingers on the violence just long enough to feel repulsed before forcing us to move on with the rest of the walkers. For all that the Walk is a deliberately contrived kind of brutality, it’s none too far removed from reality in the worst places on Earth. Right now, Palestinians are being marched through Gaza for miles at gunpoint, while men and boys have been forced to walk in front of tanks as human shields. It’s disturbing to think that in Gaza, Sudan or Congo, young men likely would sign up for a gruelling trek with a 1-in-50 likelihood of survival if it meant a chance of escaping and providing for their families.

The film marches along with the boys with a crushing inevitability until we are left with only two. The ending is somewhat predictable (although different to the original ending in the book), yet this only makes the sense of the inevitable more foreboding. Throughout, the cast force you to care about the poor bastards you know you’re going to watch die. And yet, like the best of King adaptations, The Long Walk has an uplifting message at its core: to never give up and to go down fighting.

September reviews

 I'm roughly 47 years behind on everything I want to write, thanks to many, many real life concerns; however, I have managed to get a few write-ups and reviews done lately. September marked a couple of notable pop culture anniversaries that warranted some attention.

30th September 2025 marks the official 60th anniversary of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson's classic series Thunderbirds. I've reviewed the first episode, "Trapped in the Sky," for Television Heaven. Meanwhile on TVH, we've been cracking ahead with season three of classic Doctor Who, with Galaxy 4, The Myth Makers and my beloved The Gunfighters as my latest contributions. I'd written up The Ark previously and Laurence Marcus has also added Mission to the Unknown. I've also reviewed Bookish, the wonderful new murder mystery series from Mark Gatiss.

In other media that gives you square eyes, 13th September was the 40th anniversary of Super Mario Bros. and thus the Super Mario franchise (although, of course, Mario goes back three years earlier, to 1981's Donkey Kong). Head over to Vocal for my two-part play through of every 20th century Super Mario platformer: Part One covers the 1980s (Super Mario Bros. to Super Mario Land) while Part Two takes on the 1990s (Super Mario World to Super Mario 64). Summer also saw two notable Nintendo anniversaries, with Yoshi's Island and Donkey Kong Land both hitting thirty. Just like my TV reviews, I can't help but delve into the history of the games as well as replaying them.

WHO REVIEW: 15-7 & 15-8 - "Wish World"/"The Reality War"

 

SPOILERS, I guess. But I'd be surprised if you don't know by now.

WHO REVIEW: 15-6 - "The Interstellar Song Contest"

 

It's a tricky one this. It simultaneously tries to do too much and doesn't go far enough. There's so much potential here; the initial pitch of "Eurovision meets Die Hard" is irresistible, while pastiching Eurovision provides the potential to be the most politcially charged episode in years. (Sorry, I forgot, Eurovision is not political. Honest.)

This is Juno Dawson's first contribution to Doctor Who proper, after writing the radio/podcast series Doctor Who Redacted (which I confess I disliked and didn't finish). It's a lot of fun, while also clearly being an allegory for real world atrocities. But which ones exactly? The obvious target is Israel's genocidal assault of Palestine, and the atrocious double-standard of allowing the country to continue to compete in Eurovision, while Russia was suspended for its brutal invasion of Ukraine. It's frankly impossible to read the episode without making this link, and it's genuinely surprising that the BBC allowed this to go out right before Eurovision itself, so obvious is the comparison.

Yet this was filmed over a year ago, possibly in time for last year's controversy over Israel's Eurovision inclusion, and Dawson would have written it months earlier. That said, even if she did write the script before October 7th 2023, it's not as if Israel's abusive rule over Palestine wasn't already well known, and their ongoing involvement was already controversial. There's also a lot of additional material that can be added during filming and post-production, with some elements - the burning poppy fields being the most blatant - that seem to be explicitly calling on the images of Palestine's suffering.

Yet the faceless villain here is "the corporation," with the Hellions being displaced and smeared so that their world can be turned over for a profitable commodity. Yes, this is a factor in Israel's plundering of the land and its backing by the US-led West, but it's not the driving force, nor what anyone would immediately associate with the genocide. This side comes across more as a general attack on global capitalism, having more in common with Nestle than Israel under Netanyahu. 

If this is meant to be about Palestine, then the story is muddled. Kid has a sympathetic background, but his actions are genuinely abbhorent. The attempted murder of 100,000 people is already a vast crime; to then try to kill three trillion is beyond insanity. If he had killed a thousand people and taken hostages, with the corporation then killing thousands of Hellions in retaliation, the allegory would be inarguable. The link is too vague, Kid's actions too extreme, the corporation too bodiless to really work as a story about Palestine, yet there's no way to watch this in May 2025 and take it as anything else.

At the time of writing, we still don't know why Ncuti Gatwa dropped out of presenting the UK's votes on Eurovision at the last minute. We can certainly speculate that he was going to say something that the BBC disapproved of. It almost feels like this is one half of a presentation that was never allowed to finish. 

As with the real Eurovision, "The Interstellar Song Contest" remains a lot of fun, in spite of the politcally-charged controveries that sit beneath the surface. It's still a staggeringly messy episode, though, with way too many elements jostling for attention, which is presumably largely down to RTD using it to set up parts of his ongoing season arc. I think that bullet points are actually the best way to approach it, since it seems like the script was written from a shopping list template:

• Rylan Clark: I don't like Rylan much. I find him very irritating. But his inclusion here is a fun joke, and he's actually not in it all that much. It's a bafflingly odd idea that he will be the last surviving representative of the Earth after its destruction.
• Gary and Mike: Charlie Condou and Kadiff Kirwan are lovely as the pseudo-companions of the episode. Are they human? If they are, how many people survived the end of the Earth and spread into space? If they're not, why are they called Gary and Mike? Either way, I like them.
• Cora Saint Bavier: A lovely performance by Miriam Teak Lee, and her song at the climax is surprisingly moving, given that I had no way to understand it. Was it based on a real language? Or was it entirely invented?
• The Hellions are odd in their presentation. Their name and appearance is most evocative of Christian demons, of course, which is another element in the jumble. It's also a bit odd that the all-knowledgable Doctor hasn't heard of them.
• The Doctor's behaviour in this episode is astonishing. He outright tortures Kid and the most we get from him is that he scared himself. I'm not against the Doctor going off the deep end, far from it, but this desperately needed more fallout.
• Including from Belinda, who gets over all this very quickly. There's the potential for a powerful moment here, with Belinda succumbing to the Doctor's charms and lifestyle and declaring him wonderful - and then almost being stranded and seeing him lash out with extreme violence. Yet she goes back to calling him wonderful almost straight away. The drama drops out of it very suddenly.
• Susan. Now that was a lovely surprise, and a genuine one. While I assume we'll see more of her in the finale, this was a remarkably restrained appearance for Carole Ann Ford, the only surviving member of Doctor Who's original cast. While most viewers wouldn't recognise her, there's been enough talk about the Doctor's granddaughter lately for her appearance to have weight. For those of us who do recognise her, there's a frisson of excitement and nostalgia, and a chance to marvel at how good she looks for 84.
• Finally, the Rani. It's another last minute revelation that threatens to overtake the entire episode. Like the Rani, I'm in two minds. On the one hand, Archie Panjabi is perfectly cast as the Rani (finally, someone actually South Asian in the role) and owns it from the second she appears. After years of fan speculation and outright trolling from showrunners, it's great that she is finally back. And the way she is immediately dismissive of her earlier self, who is just as immediately subservient, is a fascinating take on the bi-generation idea.
• On the other hand... bi-generation again? Are they all going to be bi-generations from now on? The scene itself is almost completely bereft of drama. Compare it to "Utopia," which reintroduced the Master back in 2007. That episode was actually about the character of Yana, the secret he was hiding, and the nature of the Doctor's isolation. There was some seeding earlier in the season, but the episode itself did the work, and the escalating revelations - he's a Time Lord, he's the Master, he's regenerating, he's Harold Saxon, PM - felt both powerfully dramatic and earned. Compare that to this: two years of increasingly bizarre cameos from Anita Dobson, a tacked on scene in the credits of an episode that had nothing to do with her character, a regeneration that barely makes her blink and no Doctor present to react, so that there's no indication of why it's important that the Rani is back. 

I'm probably being too harsh on this episode, which is one I suspect I will stick on as a rewatching favourite in years to come. It's a lot of fun, but there's the nagging feeling that it could have been something much more.

Setting: Harmony Space Station, 2925

Future History: This is the 803rd Interstellar Song Contest so, assuming there's been one a year, means the contest started in 2123.

Contestants please: worlds completing in the finale include Alpha Centauri, Grajick Minor, Grimbald, Lizoko, Neptunica, Parallel 5, Piziatora, Trion, and the Zygon New Habitat, along with 31 others. Nice to hear that the Zygons got a new home, although it's a shame that we don't see any of them , or any Alpha Centaurians. Most of the alien extras we do see are either old make-up reuses or, apparently, costumes from a Coldplay video.

Doctor Who and the Earworm: Dugga Doo of Grimbald sings the eponymous "Dugga Doo," which you can listen to in its entirety here.

Links and references:

Trion, represented by Cora, was the home planet of Vislor Turlough, companion to the Fifth Doctor.

There's already been a Eurovision story in Doctor Who: the 2002 Seventh Doctor audio Bang-Bang-a-Boom! where it was called the Intergalactic Song Contest. There's something pleasantly gratifying about the TV series' first trans writer taking over a concept from Gareth Roberts, arch-transphobe.

There's a certain similarity between this and the Ninth Doctor's last story. Gatwa is playing his Doctor quite Eccleston-like in some scenes, and the delta wave being primed by Kid to wipe out the population of the western galactic arm is the same weapon the Ninth Doctor was going to use against the Daleks.

Appropriately, we finally get a Ninth Doctor character returning to the show. I speak, of course, of Graham Norton.

Sadly there was no mention of the Wogan. And he was a fan too.

Shout-Out: The Doctor was at Brighton Pride!

Maketh the Man: another new outfit but very in-keeping with his signature style, with a low-cut orange polo-shirt and brown plaid trousers. It looks fantastic on him.

Flood Warning: Spoilers. She's the Rani.

WHO REVIEW: 15-5 - "The Story & the Engine"

 

It's wonderful that Doctor Who is still willing to take risks and give us new kinds of stories after all this time, even as its future is in the balance and it would be surely tempting to trot out the same sorts of adventures time after time. There's room for an old-fashioned alien invasion story, of course, even in the short seasons we now have, but the show is so much richer for having unique episodes like this.

After taking on most of the writing duties himself last year, RTD has invited far more new writers for this season. They're also writers from varied backgrounds, one of the strengths of the hit-and-miss Chibnall era (although the only writer actually returning from Chibnall's showrunning is Pete McTighe, the one white guy of this year's guest writers). Inua Ellams, a celebrated British-Nigerian playwright, is the first black man to write for Doctor Who and only the fourth black writer at all. This is also, I believe, his first television script, one that reportedly draws on some of the content and themes of his stage work. Apparently, he originally piched a different idea that was too similar to another script in production, although this eventually fell through, so who knows what story this might have been.

Ellams, along with director Makalla McPherson, create an episode quite unlike anything we've seen on the series before. The most obvious thing is that the main cast is entirely made up of people of colour and, aside from Varada Sethu, entirely black people. If not for the flashback to the hospital (which could have featured only people of colour with no problem, were it not for the necessity of including Anita Dobson for her weekly cameo), and the parade of earlier Doctors, it could have been an episode that only featured actors of colour. It's also one of very few stories set in Africa ("Praxeus" took place largely in Madagascar, and we've had a few quick visits to Egypt over the years). Ncuti Gatwa got his wish for an episode set in Nigeria, written by a writerwith whom he personally wanted to work.

A Nigerian barbershop is both a wonderfully unusual setting for a Doctor Who story and a cultural space that will be new for a large majority of the audience. After "Dot and Bubble" and "Lux" had the Doctor confront racism, "The Story & the Engine" sees him revel in the inclusion his new form can bring. It's only right that the incarnation who appears as the Doctor's memory of Abena surfaces is the Fugitive, with Jo Martin being the only other black actor to play the Doctor (a fantastic and genuinely unexpected cameo). While they all get a look-in (the barberhsop patrons must have been wondering who all those white guys on the screen were), the other regenerations are a footnote in this celebration of the Doctor's busy past.

I was, based on the Barber's mastery of stories and the glimpses of the giant spider in the trailer, fully expecting him to be Anansi, something the script teases us with. We're so primed now for the Doctor to face down gods that we immediately accept that this stranger is one himself (or several, as he claims). That the Doctor laughs this off thanks to having apparently already met most the gods he claims to be suggests a much longer association with them, beyond the Pantheon of Discord, even before we learn that he tangled with Anansi back when he was a woman with dreds. This is the first story to present gods with any positivity, noting their importance, along with stories in general, to the human condition.

There's a certain incoherence to the plot among these many elements. Omo and the Doctor both act like the former tricked the latter into coming, in spite of the Doctor actually going to Lagos of his own accord to piggyback off their comms. Quite why a gigantic spider has made its home on the Barber's worldwide web is unclear, as is pretty much every aspect of how the ship's engine works. The mysterious little girl who helps Belinda - confirmed in the credits to be Poppy from "Space Babies" - is a baffling conclusion that will presumably be explained further down the line. This messiness hardly matters in a story so packed with inventive visuals and ideas. A barbershop that is also a starship, exisitng both in a Nigerian backstreet and the depths of space and imagination (as close to the original concept of the TARDIS that we've ever seen). A heart within a brain within an engine. A man willing to kill the gods and doom humanity because he's angry he wasn't credited for his work. An entire story centred around hair, from the infinitely regenerating haircuts to the story of cornrows (a vital piece of black history that will be news to many watching). 

While Belinda gets short shrift in this episode, it's an absolute showcase for Gatwa's Doctor, allowing him to go all out in a story that would not work for any other version of the character. Sule Rimi and Michelle Asante both give heartfelt performances as Omo and Abena respectively, but it's Ariyon Bakare who impresses the most as the Barber. He gives an unsettling and inscrutable performance, skirting around the scenes to begin with and only slowly becoming a bigger and more emotive presence in the story, until he is fully humanised at the end.

More from Inua Ellams, please, and more episodes from writers from different backgrounds, completely new to Doctor Who.

Setting: Lagos, Nigeria, 2019

Maketh the Man: After a TARDIS scene in which he wears an orange-and-green-striped polo shirt, the Doctor changes into a Nigerian outfit which includes a pale orange kurta-style top, a loose brown waistcoat, a black kufi cap and a necklace. It's a uniue outfit for the Doctor but sticks to this incarnations signature colours.

The God Squad: The Doctor reveals that he knows Dionysus, Saga and Bastet, and we learn of his encounter with Anansi. Yet he doesn't mention the other god the Barber claimed to be, Loki. I was expecting the Doctor to reveal he was Loki himself.

Speculation: A question that arises: how does the Doctor remember an event he experienced as the Fugutive Doctor, a life that was erased from his memory?

There are two possibilites. The first is that it's simply a matter of a memory leaking through, presumably triggered by the presence of Abena. We've seen the Doctor display the occasional bit of knowledge from Gallifrey's distant past, and seen the lost faces in his mind batle with Morbius, so this isn't entirely unheard of.

The second possibility is that the Doctor has opened the watch that contains his stolen memories. This is tempting to believe. Perhaps, during the Fourteenth Doctor's long rehabilitation, he decided to open the watch, meaning the Fifteenth Doctor was born with all his memories intact. This is possibly supported by his openness in discussing his being adopted; perhaps he actually remembers his original childhood now.

Further reading: Inua Ellams has also written a short prequel story to this episode, "What I Did on my Holidays by Omo Esosa."

WHO REVIEW:15-4 - "Lucky Day"

And so, as I slowly catch up with my reviews, I write this with the knowledge of the big revelation of the season. Yet, while "Lucky Day" is clearly setting up the series finale, there's very little to go on in terms of what that finale will involve. On initial viewing, "Lucky Day" is a contender for the strongest episode of the season, even if it is frustrating that we have yet another Doctor-lite story in a series that only runs for eight episodes. How well it works once we know exactly where it was all heading may well change this, and, in any case, it's not an episode that's has the same impact on the rewatch. Too much hinges on the central reveal of the villain and wondering just how far certain characters will go. With that knowledge, it hasn't the same impact.

Of course, the most important thing about an episode is how it hits on first viewing, not pouring over it down the line, and on this basis, this is a cracking episode. Millie Gibson once again holds an entire episode in the almost total absence of the Doctor, giving us a more mature Ruby in a different way to the rapid fast-forward of "73 Yards." Ruby seems to be our standby now for UK-based political stories, acting as the realistic everywoman dealing with life a day at a time, after the Doctor. Considering that "73 Yards" had her continually under threat in one way or another, it's interesting that it's this episode that actually deals with her PTSD, albeit in a fairly shallow way. Doctor Who rarely tackles the long-term impact of the constant danger of TARDIS travel, virtually never on TV. It makes some sense of the sudden rush of former companions joining UNIT; what else do you do when you've adjusted to that lifestyle?

(It's a bit weird that Kate doesn't mention the companion support group that was set up only three years ago. Mel surely would have done, but she's off dealing with "something strange in Sydney Harbour," doubtless a set-up for The War Between the Land and the Sea.)

Even more impressive is Jonah Hauer-King as Conrad. He's just started to become annoying once the staged Shreek attack on his village begins; then it looks certain that he's going to be killed purely due to being an idiot with Doctor-envy, leaving Ruby to feel guilty about it for the rest of the episode. He becomes far more entertaining once the mask has slipped and he's revealed himself as a far-right misinformation peddler and conspiracy nut. As with many stories of this nature, Conrad has to be an unrealistically good actor to pull off the reveal; yes, Hauer-King is that good, but would Conrad really be, day in, day out, and unobserved? Still, that's an intrinsic flaw of the "secret enemy" story type.

There's a dichotomy in this case, though. For all we might cheer the Doctor's furious rebuke of Conrad and the bile-spewing trolls that populate our media these days, he's not entirely off the mark by calling UNIT to account. The joke, that there really are alien invasions every week in this universe and that you'd have to be a fool to not believe in them, falls down a little when you realise that UNIT has been operating for years with minimal oversight, keeping secrets from the general populace and hoarding incredibly advanced technoogy. It's hard to credit those commentators who think Conrad is unrealistic because his motivation is so inconsistent; that's an accurate depiction of the psychology of someone like him, both cynical and an opportunist. Yet, amongst all the nonsense, when it comes to UNIT's operations he does have a point.

Jemma Redgrave gets the her best material probably since "The Day of the Doctor," and gives her best performance to go with it. There's a sense now that the nepotism she allegedly fought against is weight around her neck, as she's constantly expected to live up to the mythical figure her father has become. Her moment of "going too far" is perfectly in character, given this was the woman who was willing to nuke London to deal with an alien threat; this is small beans in comparison. She's also dead right when she says the Doctor would have stopped her, but it's notably exactly the sort of thing the Doctor would do himself in nobody stopped him (q.v. his behaviour in "The Interstellar Song Contest").

There's a sense of this episode lashing out against authority, yet not having the courage to actually condemn the arrogance and unchecked power that both UNIT and the Doctor have. They're presented as the good guys primarily because it's their show and we know they're the heroes, but there's no actual attempt to show this outside their contrast to Conrad and his Think Tank. Of course, we have the finale and the spin-off to come yet, so who knows. Still, given that twenty years ago or so UNIT had its own private Guantanamo for people who got curious, and that even the Brigadier didn't trust them, and that according to (the admittedly baffling) history presented in Flux the organisation was founded by an alien warlord, we might have a few questions for it. 

Then again, UNIT has always been wildly inconsistent in its presentation (as is often the case, this episode seems confused as to whether it's a British or international operation). Regardless, Conrad is still an evil bastard, even if he does occasionally have a point. I look forward to him coming back in the finale, and hope to see him get a leg bitten off, the ungrateful bastard. Honestly, like being smothered in Ruby's lipgloss was really such a chore...

Setting: London and Dorset, 2024-5; briefly, London 2007.

Placement: Ruby and the Doctor's initial encounter with the Shreek takes place between "The Devil's Chord" and "Boom;" the Doctor's confrontation with Conrad is somewhere between "Empire of Death" and "The Robot Revolution;" and his and Belinda's meeting with little Conrad at the beginning actually takes place in their "present."

Maketh the Man: Considering he's in it for all of ten minutes, the Doctor gets to show off a lot of looks. In the beginning he wears a long brown duster with big orange checks, over a white T-shirt, black trews and a beanie, which seems almost archetypal for his Doctor. Next we see him in his long brown leather coat, a red-and-orange striped top and blue trousers. Finally, for his TARDIS scene we see him in his much-publicised all-white look. On the subject, the pinstriped business-suit look is fire on Ruby.

Links: 

• The name "Think Tank" for Conrad's group of extremists is a clear reference back to the villainous organisation in Tom Baker's first serial, Robot. Whether, in universe, it's simply named after an earlier group that was aligned against UNIT, or whether it's a degraded descendant of the original, isn't clear.
• Trinity Wells is back again. Why are people excited by this? Why do people like her? I do not understand.
• Not so much as a link as a character trait, but I love this Doctor's penchant for shitty practical jokes, and his doubling over in laughter at the reaction.
• Ruby is still getting to know her new mum, and also apparently a new dad, which is delivered in such a throwaway fashion I feel like it must be a major plot point hidden in plain sight.

WHO REVIEW: 15-3 - "The Well"

Well, well, well...

There are going to be spoilers from the outset for this one, although if you'd heard the rumours swirling about before the episode aired then you probably know what's coming. However, you can still back out now if you don't want to know the twist in this one. If you don't mind knowing or you know already, click "read more..."

WHO REVIEW: 15-1 - "The Robot Revolution"

It’s taken twenty years, but RTD has finally given us a story about a space planet in the future with rebels running up and down corridors.*

Introductory episodes are a tricky business, given that they have to devote a large part of their runtime to creating a new companion and introducing the Doctor and their world to them; and, these days, set up a whole new arc or mystery connected to the new companion. RTD’s favoured approach of a new companion and/or Doctor every year makes this a necessity, so each of his seasons tends to start with a fairly thin story, although he’s too good a writer not to add some extra depth to the adventure.

So, “The Robot Revolution” might be a bit of a runaround, but it fulfils its primary objectives, which are to introduce Belinda and to be entertaining for 45 minutes. Cliched and silly it might be, but it’s tremendous fun, and Belinda is never anything less than fantastic throughout. The basic idea of buying and naming a star leading to aliens thinking you’re their queen is obvious but extremely fun, and I don’t actually recall it being used in sci-fi before (feel free to correct me). At least it’s better than in real life, where naming stars through commercial companies is completely meaningless.

Varada Sethu is brilliant as Belinda, giving an entirely believable and likeable performance as someone who is entirely done with this shit, be it work, romance, or space/time adventures with ancient aliens. She sells the character perfectly even when she verges on the unrealistic, as she does occasionally when she’s a little too easily accepting of the bizarre situation she finds herself in. (Although, this is 2025 Britain in Doctor Who, where alien invasions are a regular feature of recent history.) It’s been a long while since we had a companion who doesn’t want to be one, especially on screen. Donna comes close, but only for her first appearance, and after that she’s desperate to join the Doctor. The last companion genuinely in this vein was Tegan, and of course, she came round as well.

What both the script and Sethu’s performance show so well is that Belinda is both supremely capable and used to being underestimated and taken for granted, especially by men. Alan is clearly one in a long line of men who have treated her as less than she is. Her attitude to the Doctor is perfect: we finally have someone who is suitably impressed by the wide universe that has opened up in front of her, but has no time for the Doctor and his posturing. While the Doctor isn’t exactly a man, he usually presents as one, and while his attitude of superiority might come from being a Time Lord it still comes across another arrogant bloke. It works especially well with the Fifteenth Doctor, whose charm is his primary weapon. Belinda simply refuses to be seduced by this. Sethu and Gatwa have fantastic chemistry, but it’s of a completely different sort to Gatwa and Millie Gibson, with an entirely different dynamic.

It's good to finally have someone call the Doctor on his invasive behaviour as well. I don’t think we’ve had anyone pick him up on this sort of thing since Rose was angry at the TARDIS translating her thoughts without her permission back in “The End of the World.” The Doctor does this sort of thing to friends and foes alike, in all their regenerations, but the smile on Fifteen’s face as he does it makes it especially satisfying when Belinda calls him up on it. As for the mystery he’s investigating, I’m tentatively engaged. While I wish that occasionally Doctor Who would just recast an actor they like in a new role without making a big thing of it in-universe, I like that it’s simple enough that Mundy Flynn is just Belinda’s descendant, while also accepting there must be more to it than that because families simply do not produce identical people generation after generation. We’ve clearly also got some kind of time loop situation going on here, even beyond the one that the episode itself centres on. (It might also be significant that we have an episode coming up set in 2008, the year Alan bought Belinda’s star, but then again, it might not.) Oh, and the imminent destruction of the Earth, for a change.

Everything that happens on planet Missbelindachandra One is hewn from purest cliché, which is rather the point, as it’s been warped by evil Alan’s manipulations. That doesn’t make it any less cliched, of course. The sets and CGI mattes are great, the robots are fun (even if they’re essentially just Hydroflax with a Vardy’s face on), and everything chugs along nicely. However, the humans on the planet are paper thin, most notably Sasha 55. While I love the idea of the Doctor spending six months having an adventure off-screen and building relationships that we only come into at the end, there’s nothing in Sasha’s character or Evelyn Miller’s performance to tell us why he cares for her. Yes, she’s got “doomed potential companion” written all over her, and Gatwa’s acting sells the Doctor’s grief beautifully, but there’s nothing there that suggests he should care about her more than any of the other mooks who get vapourised. Polishbot had more character.

Really, though, all this fluff is there to hang Belinda’s story on, and to make a point about controlling and misogynistic men. This is also quite thin on the surface, but there’s more going on under the hood. Alan’s obviously a prick at the beginning, but not necessarily dangerous, which only highlights the slippery slope men can go down in our society. “Planet of the incels” may be glib, but it’s also a pretty good description of our own. As much as Alan’s transformation and his desire to “weld” with Belinda are nods to Superman III, the concept – both the welding and the enforced marriage – are clearly an allegory for rape. There’s very little made of Alan’s apparent plea for death via his every ninth word, but nothing at all made from his subsequent message: “Belinda mine forever.” It’s the only such hidden message that isn’t spelled out for the viewer, and the most important, showing us that whatever suffering he’s gone through, he genuinely feels entitled to Belinda. This is a fun, silly episode, but it could be made as something much more serious in a more adult series without changing that much.

There really is a lot to love here, even if on the surface it’s by-the-numbers Doctor Who. The Blinovitch Limitation Effect – not that it’s called that here, but that’s what it is – is genuinely satisfying for once, giving us a trippy loop through time rather than the usual fizz of sparks. (Although the Doctor explaining how two of the same atoms can’t occupy the same space at the same time should have been dropped, since there won’t be a single atom in common between the two versions of the certificate.) There’s some nice, dark comedy here, best illustrated by the robot casually vapourising the cat. Most importantly, though, solidly good fun.

*Thanks Miles Reid-Lobatto for that one.

Settings: England, 24^th May 2025; planet MissBelindachandra One, around the same time; briefly England in 2008.

Title Tattle: Just a tweak, and "Revolution of the Robots" would be the archetypal Doctor Who title.

Maketh the Man: The Doctor’s outfit at the beginning of the episode, a blue pinstriped kilt with an optional tartan fleece, is absolutely gorgeous. Sadly he has to swap it for beige fatigues for the rest of the episode, although naturally Ncuti Gatwa makes these look amazing as well. Hopefully he’ll be back in the kilt before the season’s out.

Flood warning: Mrs Flood is back, suddenly living next door to Belinda and talking to the camera again. Her “You haven’t seen me,” when the Doctor shows up is the first time I’ve actually enjoyed the character, so hopefully she’ll grow on me as she crops up throughout the season. I’m still finding it hard to care too much who she is given what a let down all the reveals were last season, although I am tempted by the idea she’s Iris Wildthyme. RTD is a fan of Paul Magrs, after all, and if Beep the Meep can show up on the TV series, anyone can. I haven’t seen Mrs Flood drinking heavily, though, so it seems unlikely.