Star Trek - ranking every episode of The Original Series

Sixty years ago, on the 8th of September 1966, “The Man Trap,” the first episode of Star Trek, was broadcast on NBC. The stories of Captain James Kirk, Commander Spock, Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy and the crew of the USS Enterprise, on a five-year mission of exploration that became a sixty-year legend. The series only ran for three seasons before being cancelled, but was popular enough in the long run to spur a vast fandom and a franchise consisting of eleven spin-off TV series (twelve if you count Short Treks), thirteen feature films, a TV movie, a kids’ YouTube cartoon series, a podcast radio series, and a metric buttload of books, comics, games, audio dramas and fan productions.

But never mind that lot. Let’s look back at that first iteration. Star Trek: The Original Series, once upon a time simply called Star Trek. I am, obsessive fool that I am, going to rank every episode of the series in order, from worst to best, like we do on the internet these days. This ranking is purely my own preference, although I doubt many people will argue too much with the bottom few episodes at least. 

RIP Nichelle Nichols

 

After only days, we've lost another one of the greats. Nichelle Nicholas has died, aged 89.

Nichols will always be best known for her role as Uhura on the original Star Trek series, which she returned to for the animated follow-up, the first six Trek movies and fan productions including First Frontier and Of Gods and Men. While Uhura's role in most episodes was fairly small, her position on the bridge of the Starfleet ship as communications officer was groundbreaking for American television at the time. With her understated performance and captivating singing voice, Nichols made Uhura a fan favourite, as well as inspiring a generation of black women. Whoopi Goldberg has spoken frequently about how she was inspired by Uhura's presence on the bridge as a black woman on TV “who ain't no maid!” Dr. Martin Luther King famously encouraged Nichols to stay on the series when she was considering leaving, aware of the positive effect her presence was having on the image of black people in an inclusive future.

Dr. Mae Jemison, the first black woman to travel to space, cited Uhura as an inspiration for her choice of career. Indeed, Nichols was recruited by NASA as a spokesperson to help bring women and BAME people into the agency, which remained almost entirely white and male in the 1970s. Among her recruits were Sally Ride, the first American woman in space, and Charles Bolden, later the NASA Administrator.

Zoe Salana and Celia Rose Gooding, who play Uhura in the Kelvin Timeline Star Trek movies and the new Strange New Worlds series respectively, and Sonequa Martin-Green, Burnham on Discovery, have spoken about how they would be unlikely to have the careers they have without Nichols and her example. They continue to promote the inclusion of BAME women not only in film and television, but also in STEM careers as their characters continue to show this as a desirable career path for women and people of colour.

Beyond Star Trek, Nichols appeared in such series as Heroes, Gargoyles, and Batman: The Animated Series, and films such as Lady Magdalene's and Snow Dogs.

 Two more Star Trek novels reviewed for Ex Astris Scientia: The recent Picard novel The Last Best Hope and the 1980s TOS novel The Three-Minute Universe.

The full list has been added to the Trek reviews page.

Thanks to Bernd Schneider. 

TREK REVIEWS: Television Heaven series reviews

I've four new reviews up on Television Heaven covering the breadth of Star Trek for your reading pleasure.The cute and underrated kids' spin-off Star Trek: The Animated Series, the flawed but watchable Star Trek: Voyager, the equally flawed Enterprise (but my do I have a soft spot for it), and bringing us right up to date, a review of Star Trek: Picard S1 as a whole, to sit alongside my episode reviews on the blog.

While we're at it, John Winterson Richard and Peter Henshuls have covered the ever popular Star Trek: The Next Generation, the connoisseur's choice, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and along with site runner Laurence Marcus, they've gone back to the beginning with a look at the original Star Trek.

TREK REVIEW: "The Higher Frontier" by Christopher L. Bennett

Christopher Bennett continues to plug the gaps in the Original Series timeline, having explored the all the way from Kirk's first command through to the aftermath of The Motion Picture in his previous works. The Higher Frontier takes place in the hinterland between TMP and The Wrath of Khan. Like his previous novel The Face of the Enemy (which returned to the First Federation), this latest work explores previously seen but mysterious alien races.

The novel brings back Miranda Jones and her Medusan symbiote Kollos, who joined together at the close of “Is There in Truth No Beauty?” The story explores the effects of this union on both Jones and Kollos, while taking a welcome look at the Medusans, one of the most fascinating alien species created for the Original Series. At the same time it brings the Aenar into the 23^rd century, looking for a reason why they disappear from Federation affairs thereafter, and also taking time to delve into their culture. The two alien races are an obvious pairing, in hindsight: the Aenar are blind and telepathic, while the Medusans communicate entirely through telepathy and can drive anyone who sees them to madness. They compliment each other perfectly

There's a great deal of focus on Dr. Jones, a unique character in the franchise, as she learns about herself and also develops a relationship with Admiral Kirk. It's gratifying to see that Bennett disliked Kirk and the other male officers' treatment of Jones in the original episode, in which they were, by modern standards, appallingly laddish and chauvinistic. He has Kirk apologise to Jones, and the more mature version of the character from the films makes for a good romantic foil, even if we know from our vantage point that it can't last.

There's plenty of exploration of other familiar characters as well. The camaraderie between Sulu, Uhura and Chekov is a highlight, even as the latter begins his posting on the USS Reliant. Seeing him develop under Captain Terrell and the Reliant bridge crew has tragic overtones for the reader, knowing as we all do the fate of the ship in The Wrath of Khan. A very successful character is Thelin, the Andorian officer seen in the alternative timeline of the animated episode “Yesteryear.” Here we get to meet the prime timeline Thelin, who acts as a bridge between the Andorian and Aenar and our window into the difficult relationship between the two cultures. (Thelin's greyish skintone on the cartoon is explained away by his having an Aenar grandparent.)

The Higher Frontier is a sweeping exploration of psychic phenomena during the 23^rd century, when human espers were surprisingly well-known in the Federation. This goes right back to the second pilot episode, and the known existence of human beings with psychic abilities is an oddity in the Original Series that doesn't appear in other parts of the franchise. Dr. Jones, who becomes something of a figurehead for telepaths throughout the Federation, is only the most powerful of the human espers. Bennett brings in the New Humans – a movement briefly spoken of in Roddenberry's novelisation of The Motion Picture – and repurposes them as a cultural movement of espers looking to advance their own evolution.

Into this complex universe come the Naazh, a group of brutal, armoured terrorists who lead a campaign of, essentially, ethnic cleansing against “unnatural” psychics, beginning with the Aenar. There's some breathless and surprisingly violent action sequences throughout the book, balancing out the more philosophical side of things. Bennett is a big fan of Kamen Rider, and has peppered the book with references to this series, all of which went over my head, but the idea of the Naazh as tokusatsu-style soldiers is a striking visual. (For most western readers, Power Rangers is probably the most familiar example of this genre.)

Bennett's prose is always a pleasure to read, although on occasions here the exposition does become a little unwieldy, particularly when he's refers back to previous episodes, films and books. I'm not particularly enamoured with his eventual explanation of the espers' abilities. I'm not entirely sure everything in the canon needs to be explained away, and his overarching storyline is a little unwieldy. However, he maintains a thrilling story, bursting with ideas and fascinating visuals, even though the final revelations demand to be taken with a pinch of salt.

TREK REVIEW: Short Treks 2-4 & 2-5

THE GIRL WHO MADE THE STARS 

EPHRAIM AND DOT

After three live action vignettes, the second set of Short Treks presents a double bill of animated shorts, the first animated Star Trek episodes for forty-five years. It's surprising that the franchise hasn't explored the animated medium more often. After all, it's much easier to create alien life forms, spectacular ships and strange new worlds in cartoon form than live action. However, while Star Trek: The Animated Series has experienced a reassessment in recent years, it's long had a poor reputation, and this has likely put the blocks on animated Trek for years.

Now, however, Alex Kurtzman and his team are pushing the franchise back into the world of animation, with two new cartoon series planned: the comedy Star Trek: Lower Decks and an as-yet untitled Nickelodeon series. To whet our appetites are these two sweet mini-episodes, which show us how kid-friendly animated Trek can be done in the twenty-first century. Both rendered using computer-generated animation, “The Girl Who Made the Stars” and “Ephraim and Dot” are cute, straightforward little tales that, while clearly aimed at children, have something for grown-up fans of the Star Trek universe. Like the other Short Treks so far, they tie into elements of parent series Star Trek: Discovery.

“The Girl Who Made the Stars” gives us a glimpse of Michael Burnham's childhood, before the awful events that would tear apart her family. We see a very young Michael, here voiced by Kyrie McAlpin, scared of the dark and unable to sleep. She is consoled by her father Mike, portrayed by Kenric Green as he was in Discovery's flashbacks. He tells her the story of a little girl, living in Africa before even the stars were born, and how her bravery brought the stars the sky and saved her tribe and all of humanity from darkness. This is based on a real myth of the /Xam Abathwa, a San people of southern Africa, and was mentioned by Michael in Discovery's season two opener, “Brothers.”

It's good to see Star Trek exploring what will be lesser known cultures for much of its audience. The creation myth is embraced and retold in a visually striking and powerful way. It gives it a Star Trek twist, with an alien visitor giving the young pioneer the gift of the stars before returning to space in his ship (although where he's from if there aren't any stars yet is an intriguing question). The themes of courage, curiosity and the desire to explore and advance are core Trek values and it's good to see them illustrated in another way here. It's also nice to see some positive backstory for Michael, as well as an exploration of her ancestry (although the strong African influence on the episode is somewhat damaged by the visible lightening of the principle characters' skin compared to the live action actors).

Directed by Olatunde Osunsanmi, who has worked as exec producer on much of Discovery and Short Treks so far, and written by Brandon Schultz, it's a rather beautiful episode, and the animation is stunning.

“Ephraim and Dot” is equally family-friendly but takes a very different route. It's a silly, slapstick sketch starring an alien tardigrade of the species seen in Discovery's first season, although made significantly cuter, and a DOT-7 maintenance robot of the type that's been glimpses affecting repairs on the series. It ties into Discovery by exploring more of the tardigrade's life cycle and its swimming through the mycelial network – the fungus-based hyperspace system that the USS Discovery uses. However, for the most part this episode riffs on classic Star Trek, to delightful effect.

The tardigrade doesn't get a name in the episode itself, but she is apparently called Ephraim. This was, reportedly, the name of the tardigrade character that at one point was considered for the bridge crew on Discovery, which would have been bizarre and wonderful. Both Ephraim and Dot have tons of character in spite of having no dialogue at all. Ephraim fins her way onto the Enterprise – rather beautifully rendered in animated style – and lays her eggs in its workings. Dot kicks Ephraim off the ship, leading her to pursue it, and her eggs, through years of Star Trek adventures.

We get glimpses of familiar and memorable Trek episodes and movies, or versions of them, even using original sound clips to accompany the new animation. For those following, the adventures we see are “Space Seed,” “The Naked Time,” “The Trouble With Tribbles,” “Who Mourns For Adonais?” “The Doomsday Machine,” “The Tholian Web,” “The Savage Curtain,” The Wrath of Khan and The Search for Spock. How the eggs manage to stay undiscovered for twenty years, through a ship-wide refit, is anyone's guess, but it's a wonderfully nostalgic run through of favourite moments from the early years of the franchise. There are some stylistic choices that mean the shots don't quite fit with the established events, but that's not really here nor there, although the error of the Enterprise's registration is a glaring one.

Watching Ephraim and Dot chase each other and scuffle is simple, silly entertainment, hardly the most taxing thing Trek has presented. Yet there's still some room for a message, with Dot coming to value the tardigrade's right to life. It's bookended by an information film presented in retro style, narrated by Kirk Thatcher, sounding at times a lot like Leonard Nimoy. Directed by Michael Giacchino, stepping beyond his role as composer, this is a slight but thoroughly enjoyable little story. Does this cutesified version of Star Trek count as canon? I honestly don't care. Sit the kids down and introduce them to Star Trek.

TREK REVIEW: "The Captain's Oath" by Christopher L. Bennett

The popular image of James T. Kirk is greatly at odds with the character as originally conceived and presented. The idea of Kirk as a galactic lothario, a maverick captain with no respect for the rules is one that evolved out of the later episodes and films, further embedded in the public consciousness by many parodies. The version of Kirk we meet in the Abramsverse movies – womanising, rebellious, disrespectful and unrepentant – is a world away from the youthful Kirk we heard about in the first season of Star Trek, a studious, rule-bound young man who was still quite restrained even when he took command of the Enterprise. Amusingly, the Abramsverse version of Kirk is far more like Picard was at the Academy than the Cadet Kirk of the Prime timeline.

With The Captain's Oath, Christopher L. Bennett provides his own account of Kirk's early time as a starship captain. It's far from the first such attempt; aside from the 2009 movie's alt-timeline version, there's Enterprise: The First Adventure by the late Vonda McIntyre and various flashbacks in the comics over the years. Still, it's an under-explored part of Star Trek's history, and Bennett provides what might be considered the definitive version, at least as far as the literary continuity is concerned.

Rather than focus on one particular mission, Bennett provides an array of adventures from Kirk's early career, all of which shape him into the man we see in “Where No Man Has Gone Before” and Star Trek's first season. Some of these – such as the rescue of the pre-warp Chenari people from imminent extinction – we've heard of before in passing. Others are entirely new inventions by the author. The novel is split into three main timeframes, covering Kirk's first command posting on the USS Sacagawea, a planetside posting and return to the Sacagawea and his eventual award of the command of the Enterprise. The story jumps back and forth between these timeframes, with the consequences of events sometimes being revealed before the events themselves. It's a deftly plotted book, and Bennett handles the multiple storylines well. He makes it look easy, which is the mark of true skill.

We meet various characters, both recognisable and new. It must have irresistible to portray the first meetings between Kirk and McCoy, Spock and Sulu. They feel at once momentous, due to what we know of the characters' futures, and ordinary, just another day on the job. We know what's coming, but the characters don't. Their storied futures are still to come. We also get to spend a great deal of time with Gary Mitchell, a character who is far more like the clichéd version of Kirk than the man himself. Of the original characters, my favourite is Rhenas Sherev, an Andorian archaeologist and long-time friend of Kirk, who recurs throughout the novel's different timeframes. She's a strong-willed, stubborn character who bucks authority when she's got a personal mission to complete.

Kirk's various missions give the novel a real sense of adventure. There are clashes with Klingons, first contacts and diplomatic overtures. Again, some of these involve elements fans will recognise – the early negotiations with the Acamarians from “The Vengeance Factor”, for example. Others are wholly new, included an ingenious sidestep to the planet Nacmor, a world at a 20^th/21^st century level of development where fictitious alien invaders are being used to keep the populace in line. Along with a later storyline involving the Aulacri, the problem of misinformation, whether it's withholding facts from the people or all-out “fake news” is a running theme.

There's one plot thread that runs throughout the novel, impacting multiple worlds. Without wanting to go into too much detail, because the fun is in discovering the truth along with the characters, it involves a new alien race that are novel in conception, and potentially pose a major threat to the Federation. As is often the case, though, things are not as they seem, and again Bennett uses a sci-fi setting to discuss the problem afflicting the USA and the world at large today. Exactly what Star Trek should be doing.

Throughout the novel, Kirk learns some sober lessons about command, learning when to follow orders, when to protest, when to stick to his guns, when to let others change his mind. He becomes less rule-bound, more willing to bend the rules or even break them, but only when it's the right thing to do. We see the impact his more relaxed friends and colleagues have on him, but never does he stray from the truer representation of the character that Bennett is striving to recreate.

Like much of Bennett's work, there's a clear intention to fill the gaps in Star Trek's history. Along with the many references and appearances by familiar elements, it steers close to fanwank, but the overall impression is that Bennett is someone who has really thought about this fictional universe and how it could work. For all the intellectual exercises and introspection in this novel, it's also tremendous fun.

Forgotten Trek

There's a great Star Trek site here by Nick Ottens, which explores the beginnings of various eras of the Star Trek franchise and the various roads not taken.

It includes a lot of material from The Art of Star Trek and The Continuing Mission, both excellent volumes that are favourites of mine, but in bringing it all together here, with more sources and further information, Ottens has created a single encyclopaedia of hidden Star Trek historical knowledge and design.

The site covers everything from the original series to Voyager, through the unmade Phase II series, the original cast films and taken through the TNG films up to Insurrection. There are all sorts of unmade episodes listed in the TOS and Phase II sections, and while I've heard of some of them, I've never come across so much information on them. (Most of them sound absolutely awful, which is great. They're the most entertaining.)

The site has been updated recently, and I hope that in future Ottens might add information on Nemesis, the Abramsverse movies, Enterprise, Discovery and more. For now, it's an excellent site for all thing Trek up to about 2000.

Also on the subject of Trek, I've made a small update to my planetary classification guide. Basically I've just tried to squeeze in another class to cover a planet seen in Discovery and a similar one from TOS.

TREK REVIEW: Discovery 2-8 - "If Memory Serves"

Now that was just lovely. Opening with a montage of scenes from “The Cage,” the very first episode of Star Trek recorded, “If Memory Serves” embraces the history of the franchise while molding it to its own vision. Star Trek frequently references its own past, but has rarely incorporated past footage like this. The only time something similar has happened is during the thirtieth anniversary celebration – itself over twenty years ago now – when footage from the original series was incorporated into Deep Space Nine and scenes from Star Trek VI recreated for Voyager. In that case, though, the material was treated with reverence, with the creators going to effort to make sure everything fit with the original look of the show.

“If Memory Serves” is different. The clips from “The Cage” are shown in a highly stylised, almost storybook fashion, highlighting and celebrating the visual and stylistic differences between the original series and Discovery. This is more like Doctor Who's method of celebrating its past, when clips of William Hartnell were used in both the twentieth anniversary special and the 2017 Christmas special, before brazenly introducing a new actor playing the first Doctor, with a new interpretation of the character. It's a way of saying, “This isn't the same show it was back in the 60s, but we love that original take and we're indebted to it. Let's celebrate it, and pay tribute to it.” And that's rather beautiful.

After all, every character from “The Cage” is played by a different actor here. Almost every actor from that original episode has died (the only survivor is Laurel Goodwin who played Yeoman Colt) and many of the Discovery cast hadn't even been born when the original was filmed. As remarkable as the resemblance between Jeffrey Hunter and Anson Mount is in some shots, it would be foolish to try to pretend that we were watching the same people. Equally, Discovery has a very different style to the original series, and even where it has paid homage to the old designs – the Enterprise uniforms, for instance, or the phaser designs – they've been a tribute rather than an recreation. Some fans don't like this, but we're watching productions made fifty years apart. Television and technology are different now – I mean, I watched this episode by streaming it onto a device smaller than the communicators the original cast used to speak to each other. If there's too much of a conflict for you, pick one style and decide that that's the way it “really” looks, and the other one is a mere TV recreation.

For all that, though, the Discovery version of Talos IV is a nigh-on perfect reproduction of the original, only shot on actual location instead of in a stuffy studio lot. Don't get me wrong, what the original crew managed with such meagre resources was remarkable, but seeing Talos like this was wonderful (you can't beat a good, old sci-fi quarry). Discovery's creators have reproduced the strange alien sounds of Talos, down to the singing plants. The Talosians themselves were a decent update of the originals, although I kind of love the old-fashioned bumheads and would take them any day over the more sophisticated make-up we see here. Nonetheless, they were a fine example of taking an old design and updating it to work with the modern series' style. However, it was a poor decision to use a fairly well-built man to play the lead Talosian. The original production used slightly-built women but dubbed over with deep male voices, which was a simple but effective way of making them appear alien. The new Talosians have obvious genders, and it just doesn't work as well.

They're still creepy bastards, though, who have little concept of consent and get off on reliving other people's visceral experiences. Michael is understandably disgusted by them, and I really like that she clearly doesn't trust Vina. Melissa George is brilliant in what was a pretty peculiar role in the first place. Her chemistry with Mount sells the attraction and connection between Vina and Pike far better than Susan Oliver and Jeffrey Hunter did (although, in fairness, theirs was a very different style of acting altogether). She's almost as creepy as the Talosians, though, and although she's upfront with Michael about how horrible their punishments can be, she's very apologetic for them. Definitely some Stockholm Syndrome there, which is no big surprise.

The big one, though, is Spock. After his introduction last week, we finally get to see Ethan Peck's take on Spock properly, as he's allowed some characterisation beyond lunatic obsession. I actually love the scene where he, still unspeaking and seemingly only partially aware of his surroundings, takes control of the shuttle and pilots it directly into the illusory black hole. However, he gets to truly show his stuff once on Talos when his mind has been reordered by the Talosians (not that I'd trust them to tinker with my brain). Peck is a very different Spock to either Nimoy or Quinto. He has an intensity and and unnerving quality to him, understandably considering his psychological trauma, but also a vulnerability. He has the drive of Nimoy's Spock and the sardonic quality of Quinto's, but he's very much his own version of the character, yet I have no problem accepting him as the “real” Spock, beard and all.

I'm of two minds about the schism between Michael and Spock, however. While our experiences in our youth do mold our adult selves, it just seems childish that Spock would be harbouring so much anger for one vicious exchange when they were kids. Supposedly Michael's actions on that fateful night on Vulcan set Spock down the path of rejecting his humanity and embracing his Vulcan side, and I can buy that. The poor kid was being forced to choose between two clashing lifestyles by his parents and a traumatic display of emotion could absolutely have been the deciding factor for him. But in essence he's been holding a grudge against Michael because she was mean to him when they were little, which is both emotional and irrational, so if he has dedicated himself to suppressing his emotions he's done a very poor job of it. He even accepts that her actions then were a logical way to protect him. Michael continues to apologise for something that she did as a child, when she's risked her life and career to save Spock after his psychotic break, and he refuses to accept her apology. I just feel Spock should be more mature than this.

What I do like is the nature of his madness. Having been in communication with the Red Angel – now unequivocably accepted as a time traveller – his sense of the passage of time has been skewed. This would be disorienting for anyone, but for Spock, who views cause and effect as the underpinning of logic, it is unbearable. We learn that the Angel has been interfering in his life directly since his childhood, directing him to save Michael when she ran away and nearly got eaten by a monster. (Hell, Vulcan is dangerous!) I'd lay a fiver on the Angel being someone we will recognise, possibly Michael herself (although that would make her life one massive paradox). Peck and Martin-Green share some strong chemistry though, and there's a hint of that in Peck's brief interaction with Mount.

Away from the Talos Star Group, events are getting tense on both the Discovery and Leland's ship, the NCIA-93. We finally get some real focus on Culber and Stamets, who are dealing poorly with the former's resurrection. It's hugely satisfying that we see that Culber's death, his survival in the mycelium, and his resurrection have had hugely traumatic consequences for him. Star Trek has a bad habit of killing characters and bringing them back, or transforming them into alien forms and back again, with virtually no physical or psychological after-effects. (In fact, the only person to die and come back with any real difficulty before was Spock.) Culber is suffering from dissociation after being, you know, killed and then put back together by mushroom people, which is quite understandable. Stamets just wants to pick things up where they left off, which is simply impossible for someone after they've been through that level of trauma. Also, Pike's not exactly being a genius here by letting Tyler roam around the ship wherever he likes, even stationing his quarters on the same deck as Culber's. Culber has to see the man who killed him every day. In fact, it's Saru who has the best understanding of Culber and Tyler's problems here – perhaps because he's gone through a major transition himself lately – letting them physically fight it out while they come to terms with each other's existence.

Wilson Cruz and Anthony Rapp are exceptionally good in their scenes together. Their break-up is heartbreaking. But my god, no wonder they started thinking about putting a counsellor onboard ship later on – both Culber and Stamets are in desperate need of help and support. Given the number of psychologically damaged individuals on the Discovery, Pike should really think about getting one assigned.

The Section 31 storyline continues, to no more or better effect than before. Mirror Georgiou continues to show that maybe she's OK if you just give her a chance, you know? Oh, hang on, she just casually dropped in how she exterminated the population of Talos IV in her own universe. I honestly don't understand how we're supposed to feel about Georgiou. Is she supposed to be an entertainingly heartless villain or on a path to redemption? I do like how the four creepy admirals defer to her over Leland – presuming they think she's the prime Georgiou, she's a decorated officer and probably has seniority over him. I don't understand how Leland is able to just give orders to Pike – his being in Intelligence doesn't mean he automatically outranks the other captain. 

Sub-X-Files conspiracy stuff aside, this is a pretty damned brilliant episode. My misgivings over Spock's personality may go away considering we're going to be getting a lot more exploration of his character, and in any case, we don't need our heroes to be perfect. The episode works wonderfully as a tribute to Star Trek's beginnings and is pretty solid in its own right.

Best lines:

Culber: “I don't even know who I am anymore!”

Tyler: “Who do you think you're talking to?”

General observations:

• Vulcan's Forge is home to huge predatory monsters, just miles from the main city, but this is keeping with the perils Spock faced in his home country in the animated episode “Yesteryear.” The only really odd thing about this sequence is that the Forge has forests here, when it's been portrayed as a desert in all previous appearances (the aforementioned “Yesteryear,” and the Enterprise Vulcan trilogy). We might even want to tie in the huge nasty monsters seen on “Delta Vega” in the 2009 movie – maybe in this timeline they got relocated to a sister planet to make Vulcan safer?
• I like how there's one admiral for each of the founding races – human, Vulcan, Andorian and Tellarite, and the human doesn't even get to talk.
• There's a Vulcan medical facility on Quillam, in the Beta Quadrant. More evidence that Vulcan itself lies in that quadrant.
• We finally get to see who cleans the starships - there are little drones that pick up the mess.
• “The Menagerie” established that General Order 7 prohibited access to Talos IV on pain of death. Here, it's out of bounds but there's no mention of the death penalty. Maybe General Order 7 hasn't been applied to it yet, or perhaps the writers are just glossing over the death penalty aspect, which always seemed out of step with the Federation's ideals.
• Why the hell is there a Starbase only two light years from Talos when the Talosians can extend their mental powers across space? Unless the Talosians made someone in Starfleet locate a base there...

TREK REVIEW: "The Face of the Unknown" by Christopher L. Bennett

Of all the alien civilisations introduced in TOS, the First Federation is perhaps the most intriguing. The gigantic starship Fesarius, commanded by Balok, seemingly by a ghoulish alien creature, before being revealed as a tiny, childlike being, all alone on his huge ship. Was the first Federation as powerful as it appeared? Or was it all smoke and mirrors, like the puppet Balok used to strike fear into the Enterprise crew?

It seems strange that we never saw the First Federation again. Part of this might be down to the word Federation becoming the name of the primary setting some episodes later, and a simple desire to avoid confusion. On the other hand, perhaps the writers simply never wanted to bring them back, in TOS or any of the sequel series. Even the novel range has barely featured Balok and his people, and the nature of the First Federation remains a mystery.

In The Face of the Unknown, Christopher Bennett rectifies that by taking us into the heart of the First Federation. Taking place between TOS and TAS, at the opposite end of the Five Year Mission to first contact between the two Federations, the novel presents a vision of an ancient, secretive civilisation hidden within the Alpha Quadrant. Bennet has form with this sort of thing; his Trek novels are full of archaic societies, exotic environments and non-humanoid species. So it is with the First Federation. A collective of alien races, of which Balok's people, the Linnik, are the most human-like, who hid from their enemies 12,000 years ago. They now exist in the Web of Worlds, a gigantic construct of various environments deep within the atmosphere of a jovian planet. It's a breathtaking visual, one that is screaming out to be visualised onscreen, and a far cry from the usual Class-M planets we see in Star Trek.

The sudden reestablishment of contact with the First Federation comes about due to sudden attacks on ships in a disputed sector, perpetrated by a malicious alien race. It turns out that the Linnik have secrets even from the rest of the First Federation. The puppet used by Balok to frighten outsiders supposedly represents a sort of bogeyman from his culture, but it turns out that there is more to the creatures than mere myth. The presence of the Enterprise acts as the catalyst that reveals the nature of the marauders and their relationship to the Linnik, but also sets off a cataclysmic crisis on the Web of Worlds.

Bennett has a fine grasp of the characters of TOS, in particular Kirk and Spock. He enjoys adding, at the very least, a hint of romance to the story, with both Spock and Kirk getting some attention – par for the course for Kirk, but this time with a far less humanoid lady than usual. Sulu and Chekov also get some very heroic moments on the Web of Worlds. Outside the regular characters, it's a pleasure to get to know both Balok and young ambassador to the First Federation, Mr. Bailey, both of whom achieve more depth here than in their screen appearance. An enjoyable adventure that provides much needed exploration of a forgotten corner of the Star Trek galaxy.

This review is also available at Ex Astris Scientia

I've just read a rather excellent article on Strange Horizons, having discovered it via Alistair Reynolds's blog. It's entitled "Kirk Drift" and is written by Erin Horakova, who takes some time to dissect the cultural shorthand of Captain Kirk and the original Star Trek in general, and see how different it is to what was actually presented.

It's a long piece but worth reading through. As she goes, Horakova takes a look at representation in media and gender expectancy, but it's fundamentally about how Kirk is far from the brash womaniser that he is commonly remembered to be. In fairness, I think there are times where Kirk acted rashly or in quite unpleasant ways in the original series, although generally with a nobler goal. Horakova goes into some depth here on those times and not always in ways I fully agree with, but on the whole I think she's absolutely spot on. In particular I like her attack on the modern reboot franchise, which I am a fan of, but can see has a wealth of flaws. Certainly, I'm no big fan of Star Trek Into Darkness, which I dislike considerably more now than when I first saw it in the cinema. I'm struck by how Kirk's character in these films is markedly different to how he was described during his Academy years in TOS. Clearly, George Kirk had a significant influence on his son in the original timeline. At the risk of letting this be taken as a criticism of Millennials (I am one, just about), there's a clear difference between the original idea of a respectful, studious man making his way up the ladder and an arrogant jock who's rewarded the captaincy because he gets bloody lucky and just sort of deserves it, and it's one that reflects our expectations of life in the early 21st.

Anyway, you can read it here. It's worth a few minutes.

CAPTAIN'S BLOG: TOS 2-23 & 2-24

TOS 2-23) Patterns of Force
or
Captain Kirk vs. Space Nazis

The Mission: Find missing Federation observer, John Gill, on the planet Ekos.

Planets visited: Ekos, the inner of two habitable planets in star system M43-Alpha. A very Earth-like planet.

Alien life forms: The Ekosians and Zeons  are two humanoid races who inhabit the planets Ekos and Zeon respectively. They seem to be indistinguishable from humans, and from each other. The Zeons are technologically more advanced than the Ekosians, and a number of them arrived on Ekos some years ago in an attempt to "civilise" them. The Ekosians did not welcome the Zeons, and treat them as second-class citizens. Since Gill came to power, the Ekosians have been run as a Nazi state, unaware that Gill is from another world. The Zeons are being rounded up and exterminated, but there is a resistance movement.

Future History: John Gill is considered one of the Federation's greatest historians. Sent to Ekos merely to observe the culture, he has perverted it into a replica of Nazi Germany, right down to the uniforms and weaponry. While Gill sits as Fuhrer, it;s his right-hand man Melakon who wields power, keeping Gill drugged and subdued and communicating his wishes through soundbites. "Gill" has now ordered the "Final Decision," an attack on the planet Zeon and the complete extermination of the Zeon race. Just in case any of this was too subtle, the Zeons all have Hebrew-derived names, like Isak and Abrom.

Future Treknology: The Zeons have quite primitive interplanetary craft. Gill (and perhaps the Zeons, to begin with) has evidently pushed Ekosian technology forward, as they now have nuclear weaponry and the beginnings of space travel themselves.

Kirk and Spock have transponders injected into their skin to allow them to be beamed up should they not report in. An extremely wise precaution that they really should have used as standard. However, they dig out the implants to use the rubidium crystals within to create a laser beam from the lightbulb in their cell in order to affect escape.

Captain James T: Gill tutored him at the Academy. He evidently admires the man, describing him as "gentle," but even Kirk isn't immune to the allure of a well-tailored Gestapo uniform. For once, Kirk doesn't try to shag the sexy blonde he's assigned to work with. He could easily get the Enterprise to intercept the Ekosian warfleet but refuses to go down such a destructive route.

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin: How perfect does Spock look in his beanie? Spock's alien appearance draws attention from the xenophobic Ekosian authorities, even with his cunning beanie disguise. (The fact that Nimoy is Jewish makes these scenes rather more potent than they might otherwise be.) When Spock stands on Kirk to begin his escape attempt, it looks for all the world like he is taking as long as possible on purpose. He also starts to enjoy "gambling" with his life. Spock's lash-marks are, of course, green. He uses the nerve pinch no fewer than three times, and "mind probes" Gill.

The Real McCoy: The entire set-up is worth for when Bones beams down in SS uniform, demanding to know what the hell is going on.


Shirtless Kirk Alert: It's a twofer, as both Kirk and Spock get their tops off. And whipped. This is bordering on slash fic.

Trek Stars: Valora Norland plays Daras, femme fatale who poses as a high-ranking Nazi but is secretly part of the resistance. She gives an excellent performance and isn't reduced to Kirk's fox of the week.

Space Bilge: Kirk and Spock consider the odds of a parallel society like this developing of its own accord virtually impossible. This is after previously visiting space Rome and a perfect duplicate of Earth.

Quote, Unquote: "To the logical mind, the outlook is somewhat gloomy."

The verdict: A good, old-fashioned "Nazis in America" tale, and about as subtle as they ever get. The script twists itself into a propaganda piece for the Prime Directive, when the actual lesson is the far from surprising "Nazism is bad." Still, it works well, with some excellent costumes brought out from the archives so it looks more expensive than it actually is. There's another side to this beneath the surface, with both Nimoy and Shatner being from Jewish backgrounds. With Nazi elements becoming more prevalent in the US and even dominant parts of society sliding towards that way of thinking, "Patterns of Force" takes on a new edge. Gill isn't as bad as Trump.

CAPTAIN'S BLOG: TOS 2-22

TOS 2-22) Return to Tomorrow
or
Captain Kirk vs. Space Ghosts

I think the episode order's gone wonky somewhere along the line, but here goes another episode!

The Mission: Explore the far reaches of unexplored space and answer that mysterious signal...

Planets visited: Unnamed in the broadcast episode, the planet is named Arret in the script (which is, of course, Terra backwards). Class-M once, it's had its atmosphere ripped away leaving it desolate and uninhabitable. It's significantly older than Earth. The only area with an atmosphere is deep below the surface. It lies in a system three weeks' signal time from Starfleet.

Alien life forms: Sargon and his people once had a great and advanced civilisation, but destroyed themselves in war after they began to think of themselves as gods. They were originally humanoid, but when their bodies died, the last three of them - Sargon, Henoch and Thalassa - stored their minds in orbs below the planet's surface. Sargon stayed awake for the last half million years, sending out his thoughts to try to find someone else in the universe. Sargon and his lot are basically ghosts; he even says he is "as dead as my planet." They need bodies to rebuild their lives and ask to borrow the crew's bodies so that they can build new android frames, but the human form isn't capable of maintaining their minds for long without burning out.

Six thousand centuries ago, the Arretians began colonising the galaxy. Sargon thinks they may have been the ancestors of humans and Vulcans. While this is dismissed by the human representatives, Spock says that it would explain some holes in Vulcan prehistory.

Captain James T: Kirk risks the potential dangers of beaming into a planet to make contact with the source of the psychic signal. He also seems surprisingly keen to let Sargon borrow his body, making a big speech about how "risk is our business," even though it's pretty clear that it will go horrendously wrong. He says he'll only go head if it's a unanimous decision, but then talks everyone round with some flair. He's convinced that the Arretians will propel humanity ten thousand years into the future. He ends up dead, but gets better.

Captain James T:  Sargon is a noble, idealistic individual, still in love with his wife, Thalassa. He's clearly used to his orders being obeyed, but swears he will let the Enterprise go free if Kirk and his colleagues are against the idea. Shatner reaches new levels of thespian intensity as Sargon.

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin: Spock is keen to explore the ancient civilisation below the planet's surface. His body is more capable of supporting the alien energy forms than the pure humans'. He is able to hide his mind in Chapel's body to help give Henoch the runaround, perhaps giving a look ahead to The Search for Spock. Nimoy is absolutely brilliant at playing a completely new character.

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin:  Henoch is an out-and-out villain from the get-go. He's flirtatious, arrogant and excitable. He uses his powers, enhanced by Spock's own telepathy, to take control of Chapel so that she sabotages Kirk/Sargon's medication so that his body will fail and he can take over. He turns Thalassa against him and basically sounds like he wants to rule the galaxy.

The Real McCoy: Bones is, understandably, frightened of being through miles of solid rock. He's also the voice of reason here, pointing out that allowing unknown aliens to borrow your body is clearly insane and that it's just a little concerning that they've demanded the captain and the first officer. Beneath all that, he feels it's just indecent.

Great Scott: Initially against the bodyswap idea, Scotty is the most swayed by the promise of technology. Kirk promises him a starship engine no bigger than a walnut. James Doohan also provides the booming voice of Sargon (he'll be doing a lot more of this sort of thing in the animated series).

Future Treknology: The aliens create android bodies that use blobs of jelly to perform bodily functions, but will be far more limited than human bodies.

Trek Stars: Diana Muldaur plays one-off character Dr. Ann Mulhall, and her possessor, Thalassa. Mulhall is an astrobiologist, so it's a bit of a surprise she isn't seen before or since.As a lieutenant commander, Mulhall is the highest ranking female Starfleet officer seen in the original series. Muldaur makes a slight character very memorable, and is equally good as the corrupted Thalassa. She'll be back in the following season as Miranda Jones, and throughout the second season of The Next Generation as Dr. Pulaski.

Sexy Trek: As soon as Mulhall arrives, there's romantic music. Thalassa and Sargon get it on in Mulhall's and Kirk's bodies. Henoch, in Spock's body, flirts like hell with Chapel, before hypnotising her.

Cliche Count: Averted when the redshirts are left behind on the transporter pad.

The Verdict: If you accept the conceit of the crew being utterly idiotic, this is a strong episode with a great performance from Leonard Nimoy, getting to be a villain and clearly having a whale of a time.

CAPTAIN'S BLOG: TOS 2.20 - 2.21

This year is the fiftieth anniversary of the launch Star Trek, with the 1966 broadcast of "The Man Trap." With that in mind, it seems about time I got back on the Captain's Blog and finished my run down of season two of the original series, before moving onto season three. I'll roughly alternate these with Dandy's Space Blog while I finish that too.

2-20) The Ultimate Computer
or
Captain Kirk vs. Workplace Irrelevancy

The Mission: Test out the new M-5 computer, capable of running a starship with a minimum crew complement.

Planets visited: None, although the tests take part in orbit of Alpha Carinae II, an Earthlike planet. Alpha Carinae is a real star system, about 300 light years away. In actuality a red supergiant, Alpha Carinae, also known as Canopus and Suhail, is the second brightest star in the sky.

Captain James T: Isn't happy to be summoned to a Starfleet space station without prior explanation. He's even less happy when his friend, Commodore Bob Wesley, informs him the Enterprise will be testing out the new M-5 computer. Kirk expresses severe anxiety at the concept he will be rendered obsolete by the computer, and, not for the first time, wishes he were living an old fashioned captain's life at sea. He doesn't want to lose his command (or the prestige) to a computer. His confidence in Wesley means that he knows he won't destroy the Enterprise even when it looks like the only way to stop the attacks.

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin: He holds an A7 computer expertise diploma and holds Daystrom i the highest esteem. Of everyone, Spock unsurprisingly has the most sympathy for Daystrom and the idea that a computer could be the best at running a starship.

The Real McCoy: Bones instinctively distrusts the M-5 and has the feeling it is wrong in its decisions before any errors come about. It's almost a Spidey-sense sort of thing. As is often the case, he prescribes himself and Kirk a strong liquor to help with the stressful situation.

Killer Computer: The M-5 is the first multitronic computer, a new generation of computers created by Professor Daystrom. The M-5 has a certain human-like capacity for thought, which Daystrom created by using his own brain engrams (which was undoubtedly a very bad idea). The M-5 is designed to take full control of a starship, running it with a minimal crew of twenty essential personnel. The captain is not considered essential, with the computer making the command decisions. Unfortunately, both man and machine are completely mad. Given the task of showing off its capabilities in war games against four other Constitution-class starships, the M-5 puts its own self-preservation above all else, and fails to distinguish between the games and real threat. It first destroys a robotic ore carrier, the Woden, and then kills several hundred people when it attacks the USS Excalibur. It drains the Enterprise's power to improve its performance, cuts itself off and places a forcefield around itself. It even kills a crewman who tries to shut it off. Eventually, Kirk convinces it to self-destruct by getting it to admit to murder and therefore execute itself (presumably, the idea that murder is "a crime against the laws of Man and God" comes from Daystrom's own psyche).

Future History: Spock mentions that there's no technology that can replace a starship's chief medical officer. A hundred-odd years after this, in the time of Star Trek: Voyager, that will no longer be the case.

Dr, Richard Daystrom is considered a genius in his time, on a par with Einstein. He's also a dangerous obsessive. At 24, he invented the duotronic computers that run starships, which won him the Nobel and Zee-Magnees prizes. In spite of the ignoble end of his career, the Daystrom Institute and Daystrom Award are named after him (and presumably the Daystrom Conference in the alternative reality of Star Trek Into Darkness).

The four starships that go up against the Enterprise are the Hood, the Potemkin, the Lexington and the Excalibur.

Finagle's Folly is a green cocktail "known from here to Orion."

Trek Stars: William Marshall is excellent as Richard Daystrom. He's best recognised as Blacula, but had a huge and varied career involving directing and opera singing, for which he deserves to be remembered.

Cliche Counter: This is the fourth time that Kirk has talked a computer to death, after the previous occasions in "The Changeling," "Return of the Archons" and "I, Mudd."

Remastery: There is significant new CG model work in this episode, replacing reused footage used for the Woden, the Constitution-class ships involved in the war games, the space station and Alpha Carinae II with new images.

The Verdict: A strong episode with a good central theme. Kirk's fear of being replaced in his job by a machine is more relevant today than ever and is a better use of a villainous computer than the usual "computers are scary!" high jinks. It's great that Daystrom, the greatest genius of the age, is an African, even if he does suffer a complete breakdown and essentially reverts to villain of the piece. It's also good, as always, to see more of Starfleet, and Enterprise's place within it.

CAPTAIN'S BLOG: TOS 2-18 - 2-19

2.18) The Immunity Syndrome

or

Captain Kirk vs. the Space Amoeba

The Mission: Investigate the loss of communications with the starship Intrepid and solar system Gamma 7a.

Planets visited: None

Space Phenomena: The Enterprise encounters a zone of darkness, a sort of hole in space, a black spot that is not solid, liquid or gas, nor a dust cloud or nebula. It's a region composed of some kind of energy entirely anthithetical to the energy that exists in ordinary life. The Enterprise launches a telemetry probe, which is blasted with noise before ceasing to function. Even at 100,000 km, the zone starts to drain the crew's energy, first making them inordinately tired before causing the more susceptible members to slip into comas. When the ship is swalloed up, all the stars vanish from view. Within the zone, all actions by the ship operate in reverse; to try to reverse away, the Enterprise has to thrust forward.

Alien life forms:

The Space Amoeba: At the centre of the zone is the creature, a gigantic single-celled organism comprised of protoplasm, 11,000 by 3000 miles across. It's a huge, red, gelatinous blob, constantly shifting in form. Emitting a field of negative energy, it drains the life force of everything in its vicinity, including the crew of the Intrepid and the billions of inhabitants of system Gamma 7a. What's worse, it's preparing to reproduce by fission.

Vulcans: The Intrepid is manned solely by Vulcans (so mixed species crews are probably quite unusual in this period). Since the physics of the dark zone operated contrary to logic, the Vulcans were unable to conceive of what was happening to them, and were wholly unprepared to escape. According to Spock, Vulcan memory goes centuries and cannot recall a conqueror.

Captain James T: He sounds absolutely knackered even before all this crap starts. We never find out what mission they've just come from, but it was clearly exhausting. Kirk's looking forward to a nice bit of R&R at Starbase 6. The Starbase instead sends him on this mission, and he's not exactly happy about it. When it comes to investigating the creature, Kirk of course insists he go in, even though he is the least qualified. He's pretty unfair to Spock, bitching when he doesn't have sufficient data to tell him exactly what's going on. He'd be completely lost without him. He's torn up over the decision to send one of his closest friends to their likely death. It's Kirk who eventually conceives of killing the alien using antimatter.

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin: Spock feels the death of the crew of the Intrepid, a psychic episode in which he is overwhelmed by the death of four hundred Vulcans. He's hugely critical of human attitudes to death compared to Vulcans'. Both Spock and Bones volunteer to investigate the amoeba; Spock wins out in the end because of his physiological and emotional strengths. Plus, he has a personal stake, after dealing with the deaths of all those Vulcans. He's ready to sacrifice himself, but in his determination finds a way for the Enterprise to destory it. When he thinks he's going to die, he makes a log leaving everything to the crew.

The Real McCoy: Bones has the medical knowledge to explore the alien, and he's dying to explore this unknown creature. He considers it the greatest experiment ever. He hypothesises that humanity's purpose in the universe is to act as antibodies against these alien infections. There's a ridiculous rivalry between Bones and Spock, but at the end of the day, they have great respect for each other. Spock thinks McCoy has a martyr complex, however.

Space Bilge: Space Amoeba Drinking Game: take a shot every time a character says “penetrate.” This can also be played with most Next Generation episodes. (Yes, we're puerile.)

The Verdict: A classic science fiction story, with a great, tense build up. We don't see the monster until twenty minutes into the episode. The effects for the alien are amazing, especially in the original version. It's also a great episode for the central team of Kirk, Spock and McCoy, their individual strengths and weaknesses coming together to save the ship.

CAPTAIN'S BLOG: TOS 2-16 - 2-17

2.16) The Gamesters of Triskelion

or

Captain Kirk vs. Gladiators

The Mission: Check up on an automated station/track down the missing away team.

Planets visited:

Gamma 2: A barren, uninhabited planetoid that is the location of an unmanned communications and navigations station. In the remastered version it has a ring.

Triskelion: A planet in the treble star system M24-Alpha, 11.6 light years from Gamma 2. There was once a civilisation there, but now it's fallen into ruin.

Alien life forms:

The Providers: The remaining natives of Triskelion. There's only three of them left and they've been reduced to brains in jars. Very colourful brains in jars, at that. Once they had physical forms, and so on and so forth, heard it all before. Now they entertain themselves by betting their hard-earned quatloos on the thrall fights.

Drill thralls: Various humanoids captured from all over the Galaxy. They include: Shahna, a green-haired lady in a skimpy silver bikini who looks like Lady Gaga; Kloog, a big, hulking brute with tusks (who might be a Kalar from Rigel 7, as seen in “The Cage,); Lars, a statuesque rapist; Tamoon, a yellow-skinned tart with a manly voice; an Andorian and a black guy who gets used as training fodder. They're all controlled by Galt, a scary-ass wizard in an impressive collar. At the end of this, they win their right to self-government; which should be fairly straightforward, as there's only about twelve of them on the entire planet.

Captain James T: Sounds painfully bored at his check-up mission and genuinely cheers up when his transporter beam is zapped across space to Triskelion. His enthusiasm soon gives way to anger at the treatment of his crew (particularly Uhura) and the thralls. Kirk is such a charmer he manages to completley sway Shahna with some smooth-talking and a smooch – before punching her lights out. He bets his entire crew's freedom against those of the thralls, never stopping to consider whether he has the right to do so. Shatner's performance reaches new levels of intensity in this episode.

Shirtless Kirk Alert: Practically the whole bloody episode.

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin: Completely dismissive of Scotty when he says there was no malfunction on his end when the transporter beam is zapped across space. He maintains a stolidly logical apraoch to searching for his lost crewmates and almost sounds excited at the discovery of an ion trail.

The Real McCoy: Loses his temper at Spock, but soon calms himself down.

United States of Africa: Having Uhura point out the parallels between the Providers activities and the slavery on Earth is a fine approach. There's also no way around it: Lars attempts to rape Uhura, albeit off screen. It's a really upsetting scene, nonetheless. Uhura remains strong throughout the episode, though, refusing to victimise fellow slaves. She's definitely the best thing about the episode.

Tsar of all the Russias: He's a cocky little sod in this episode, until he comes face to face with his drill thrall – a yellow woman Tamoon, who really fancies him.

Great Scott: Scotty gets riled up by Spock's calm approach and is egged on by McCoy, before Spock reminds him of his place.

Trivia facts: This episode was parodied in The Simpsons in the episode “Deep Space Homer,” where Homer fought Barney for quatloos. That was better sci-fi than this, too.

The Verdict: Trek at its campest and silliest, marred by excessive amounts of violence against women. It looks like this is trying to make some point about slavery and human bloodsports, but it's lost in all the daffiness. The final scene is incredibly corny.

CAPTAIN'S BLOG: TOS 2.15

Oh, yes...

2.15) The Trouble with Tribbles

or

Captain Kirk vs. Fluff

The Mission: Protect a vital shipment of grain called quadrotriticale bound for colonists on Sherman's Planet, which will be ceded to either the Federation or the Klingon Empire depending on who manages it best.

Planets visited: None. The action takes place on Space Station K-7.

Captain James T: On great form here. I love how he's spoiling for a fight when he gets to K-7, and seems genuinely disappointed that the Klingons ahven't attacked and that he's just been called in to guard some grain. Once more, he's at odds with the local official, Mr Baris (William Schallert). He seems to be the only person who's never heard of quadrotriticale. He and the Klingon captain, Koloth, have crossed paths before.

Gree-Blooded Hobgoblin: For a logical Vulcan, he's really got the put-downs and quips nailed now. Deadpan delivery, of course. Whatever he claims, he likes tribbles.

The Real McCoy: Fascinated by the tribbles' biology. I've never seen him so excited without a woman nearby. He doesn't seem to know the difference between bisexual, asexual and hermaphroditic, though.

Tsar of all the Russias: Seriously has a complex about making Russia seem important. Given that he's on a fricking space station, you'd think a mention of Gagarin might be obvious, instead of making up shit about scotch being invented by “a little old lady in Leningrad.” Drinks wodka. Almost strikes a Klingon when he insults Kirk.

Great Scott: Thinks that vodka is a soda pop drink. He's very collected here, calming Chekov down when he's riled by Korax's insults.. until he insults the Enterprise, when he goes off on one and smacks the guy. Judging by his “no tribble at all” line, he has a very similar sense of humour to me. James Doohan did his own fight stunts.

United States of Africa: Uhura is a soft touch. It takes Cyrano Jones about three minutes to talk her into buying a tribble.

Alien life forms:

Klingons: Looking more like humans in light make-up than ever. So much so that it's really quite funny when the Deep Space Nine sequel mentions that their spy, Arne Darvin, must have had a good surgeon. All these Klingons need to pass as human is a quick shave. They hate tribbles (the feeling is mutual). They've poisoned the grain to disrupt the Federation's plans for Sherman's Planet. Klingons speak Klingonese.

Tribbles: Fuzzy balls of fluff that make pleasant chirrupping noises and everyone (except the Klingons) just thinks are so damned cute. They eat voraciously and reproduce extremely rapidly; they are self-fertilising hermaphrodites and are born pregnant. They have no teeth, so how they eat all that grain remains a mystery. They make excellent Klingon detectors.

Regulan bloodworms and Denebian Slime Devils: aren't very nice things to be called.

Future History: Sherman's Planet was discovered by astronomer John Burke, of the Royal Academy in “old Britain” in 2067. The planet's governance is decided on the terms of the Organian Peace Treaty (a nice bit of continuity with the previous Klingon episode, “Errand of Mercy”).

Trek Stars: Koloth is played by William Campbell, who previously played the alien Trelane in “The Squire of Gothos.” He's the cheekiest Klingon ever. Campbell returned to the role – in full Klingon make-up – in the Deep Space Nine episode “Blood Oath.” Stanley Adams is pretty fabulous as galactic rogue trader Cyrano Jones.

Cliché counter: Kirk rubs a bureaucrat up the wrong way. Chekov drops some nonsense about something being discovered by a Russian. There's a great big fight, comedy music every two minutes and it ends with a joke and a big laugh from the main cast. But at least this episode is actually funny, so it feels right for once.

Things to Come: This episode was popular enough to spark two sequels: “More Tribbles, More Troubles,” in the Animated Series, and “Trials and Tribble-ations” in Deep Space Nine, the latter being the 30^th anniversary episode which brilliantly spliced the current cast into the original footage. Tribbles will show up as set dressing in Enterprise and several movies, up to and including Star Trek Into Darkness.

The Verdict: There's a reason this is a fan favourite. A Star Trek comedy that's genuinely funny, this is great fun from start to finish. The cast are basically parodying themselves throughout, but it's in keeping with the atmosphere of this great little story. Kirk buried under a mound of tribbles is a wonderful image. No wonder they chose this one to rework for the 30^th anniversary. The should have snuck Sisko into the back of a shot when they were remastering it.