Oh, shazbot!

I wanted to write a post about Robin Williams. He was to me, as he was to so many, an icon, one of the true greats of comedy and drama. But what more can I add to the many, many tributes that have been made today? Mork has returned to Ork, and that is that. A great and kind man, by all accounts, cut down by this most terrible illness. Even now, a day after his death, some people are attacking him for his "selfish" action of suicide. This makes me incredibly angry. Perhaps it's because of my own struggles with depression, or perhaps it's the sudden number of deaths with similar causes that have affected those I hold dear. Or perhaps it's just because it's an inane, ignorant, cruel thing to say. Already, though, there has been a perfect rebuke to the attacks by people like Shep Smith, a Fox News arsehole. By Dean Burnan at the Guardian, it's the best description of depression I've read in a long time.

For now though, let's remember the wise, troubled clown who made us smile so many times. His films were a fundamental part of my childhood. He was even pretty good in Fern Gully.

Robin Williams, you truly were the Pan.

Spandex Girls

The debate surrounding the portrayal of female characters in comics has now broadened to encompass the movies. Den of Geek have posted a piece calling for more female superheroes who are less obviously attractive and designed to fit male expectations, one that has been met with a fair amount of feedback from both sides of the equation. Frankly, I can see their point, but I think they're missing it somewhat as well, for a number of reasons.

Firstly, yes, woman are used as titillation material in these films. It's not just comicbook movies; I've already complained about the portrayal of Dr. Carol Marcus in Star Trek Into Darkness. However, I don't think that there's anything wrong with a little titillation (or bumillation), as long as that isn't all there is to a character or that there's at least some context. In my view, one of the best ways to approach it is to have the male characters be subjected to it as well. Indeed, Marvel does this plenty. Tony Stark, Steve Rogers and Peter Quill all get fan-service shots of their topless chests. Chris Pratt's impressive torso was even a major selling point of Guardians' trailer, just as much as the sultry shots of Zoe Saldana as Gamora. Gamora is used as an obvious example in Den of Geek's article, and there are problems with her portrayal. As I said in my review, the supposedly badass alien is mostly a damsel in distress until she faces down Nebula, upon which we get to aesthetically pleasing females battling it out. On the other hand, I honestly think there's less ogling done of Gamora than of Star Lord. It could be argues that perving on the men is just as making it a broader problem, but personally I feel it just evens things up. By all means, give us eye candy, so long as we get decent characters with it.

It's certainly true that we get one specific kind of female hero in these films. Zoe Saldana, Chloe Bennett, Coby Smulders, Karen Gillan - all very slim, lithe women who look good in tight leather. Only Scarlet Johanssen mixes it up by adding some real curves into there, and she's hardly large. Is it an unrealistic image for women to aspire to? Yes, it is, but no more so than Dave Bautista's rippling muscles or RDJ's extreme handsomeness are for men. I'm all for more variety in form in both comics and movies, but come on, look at film and TV (especially in America). Everyone is gorgeous. I was just watching an episode of Arrow. Even the IT girl is a model. Pretty people sell tickets and DVDs.

There's definitely a difference in the portrayal of men and women in comics and film. Male heroes are expected to be physically impressive, muscular and strong. Female heroes are expected to be beautiful and sensual first, strong second. And yes, there's a lot of work to be done there. A film can still be made and do well with an older or less obviously attractive male lead, while it's rare to see anything headlined by an older woman. This is something that needs to change. Still, expecting the pretty people to go away is unfeasible. And really, using She-Hulk as an example... are they serious? Jennifer Walters is a fine example of female comics characterisation, but when she's She-Hulk she's green tits and ass. A She-Hulk movie could be great, but does anyone really think we won't get someone drop-dead gorgeous in the role?

Some movie-makers are worse culprits than others. I'm sure that if Michael Bay could somehow hire Megan Fox's arse without having to pay for the rest of her, he would do so. But so long as we can have a decent actor doing a good job of portraying a well-written character, then I will happily accept the bonus of having a gorgeous person in the role. It's just a problem when those first few criteria aren't met.

Marvel aren't perfect. Those posters for The Winter Soldier that morphed Black Widow into bizarre proportions were horrible (Chris Evans didn't avoid the photoshopping either, but it wasn't so obvious). We're supposed to root for Chris Pratt's womanising star traveller, who forgets he has his latest shag in his spaceship. On the other hand, Gamora did resist the cliche of being won over by his charms, so that's something. (Let's see what happens when she meets Tony Stark though.) We really need a movie centred on a female hero, be it She-Hulk, Black Widow or Captain Marvel. However, appearance wise, the Marvel movies are still ahead of the comics. If Gamora had dressed like her comics counterpart, she'd have looked like this:

Mission to Comet

After ten years of travel, the ESA space probe Rosetta has finally reached its destination, Comet 67P. This is a first in the history of space travel, the orbit and companionship of a cometary body. While the probe's robotic lander Philae has yet to land - this is scheduled for November - Rosetta has already sent back some telemetry, including images of the cometary surface. You can see some of them here, and as you can see, the comet is a tiny world in its own right, with boulders, craters and escarpments surrounding a flat plateau. It's been a long, difficult mission, but it's paying off already, and there's still a year of observations scheduled.

Comet 67P is only around two miles across, with a perihelion of 1.24 AU. To get an idea of its size, take a look at this image I pinched from the BBC.

Or, if you're more geekily minded, this:

WHO REVIEW: Engines of War by George Mann

This is a particularly exciting release for Doctor Who fans. The first full length adventure for John Hurt's lost incarnation of the Time Lord. Whether more will be forthcoming has yet to be seen, but considering the reception this book has had, I think it is very likely. Whether this is a good idea is another question.


George Mann is a fine choice for a book such as this, adept at crafting an action-packed tale. His prose is clear and straightforward, pacey and easy to enjoy. Just the sort of writer for a war-time tale of Time Lords and Daleks. Taking place in the final days of the Time War, this sees the War Doctor pit himself not only against the Daleks, but the High Council of the Time Lords. Both sides are making moves to end the War, contemplating appalling acts to ensure their own survival. It's a story of the Doctor's last stand at the moral high ground, with the events of this book finally convincing him that there must be “no more.”


Nonetheless, this is a Doctor Who book through and through, and anyone hoping for something unique Who adventure all the same. As such, it has its own one-off companion figure, the young fighter Cinder, who the Doctor picks up from the Dalek-occupied planet Moldox. While she could easily have fallen into a stereotypical character of the tough kid shaped by war, Cinder is likeable enough, and recognisable enough, to become a strong protagonist. Someone we can care about amongst the cosmic battles going on around her, even if her final fate is inevitable.
should look elsewhere. This is a high stakes and emotionally charged adventure, but it's a


It's a continuity-heavy book – not Craig Hinton levels of fanwank, but considerable references to the past of the series. This is natural enough for a Gallifrey-centric story, and it never reaches the point where it becomes a distraction. New series fans tempted by this tie-in to The Day of the Doctor may come away somewhat confused by some of the references, but for the most part they help push the story along. If anything, the numerous references to Gallifrey's past help sell the concept that this is an ancient and rigid culture, even as we see its decay. I hadn't expected it to be quite such a tie-in to The Five Doctors, though, by far the most referenced story over the course of the book.


Certain elements of the story work especially well, exploring the untold details of the Time War. Throwaway terms such as the Skaro Degradations are brought to life. The horrific details of the Dalek war machine evoke a terrifying conflict, and particularly effective in the first third of the book, which focuses on the human cost of the War. We see the War from the viewpoint of the “lesser species,” as their worlds are dominated by Daleks or sacrificed by the Time Lords to further an advancement or defence. Also well characterised is Rassilon, here in his Timothy Dalton incarnation, and we see the depths he is capable of sinking to in order to further his endless life.


It's in the portrayal of the Doctor that the book is constrained however. At the end of the day, the Doctor is the hero of the book, and can't get his hands too dirty. However appalling his decision to destroy Gallifrey was, it was something the later Doctors admitted to. There must have been far worse sins committed during his time on the front line, but little of that is explored here. We get plenty of combat fatigue and broken faith, but little of what would cause the Doctor to abandon this incarnation as “the one who broke the promise.” Indeed, he introduces himself as someone who used to be called the Doctor, and this is the name he is called throughout the book. I understand that this is a practical choice, but it hammers home that this is still the Doctor being Doctorish, and not the terrible warrior he would later try to forget. Only the Daleks seem to have the appropriate fear and reverence for this incarnation; they, in contrast, refer to him as the Predator.



Mann excels at portraying the more visceral side of the conflict, and makes a good stab at exploring the effects of temporal warfare, something that is never easy to develop in detail. While this is an exhilarating read – it's easy to imagine this as a Doctor Who movie with a huge budget – the Time War is just too horrific and too alien to be explored in too much depth. Engines of War works, but too much War Doctor could weaken his impact. 

Above illustration by Paul Hanley.

MOVIE REVIEW: Guardians of the Galaxy

So, I saw Guardians of the Galaxy on opening day, in a packed out cinema in the middle of the day. I've been extremely busy all weekend, during which time the film has done spectacularly well, soundly beating all its projections and altogether proving to be a huge hit. Pretty good job, especially considering this was Marvel's first risky release since, well, Iron Man. The other characters Marvel have made films from haven't always been huge names compared to Spider-Man, Batman and Superman, but since that first near-perfect Stark movie, they've been on a safe run. Sure, they've consolidated that by making extremely fine popcorn movies, refusing the temptation to rest on their laurels and churn out identikit superhero flicks. Each movie has been its own beast, and that is to the studio's credit and success. However, Guardians could have been the weak link. The source material is not well-known. I'm a bit of a Marvel buff, but I knew next to nothing about them when the film was announced, although Marvel's canny push on the Guardians comics, with reintroductory one-shots for its main characters, has been a great way in.


Part of the success of the movie has to be its relentless publicity campaign. We've been assaulted by trailers and clips over the past couple of months. However, the Guardians trailers have been more consistently entertaining than many films. There have been some missteps – there's always the foolish temptation to use your best scene as a promo clip – but it can't be denied that word of mouth has generated a lot of the opening weekend's success. When announced, I was intrigued by the Guardians film, but not especially worried. I thought this might be the first Marvel film I wouldn't bother making time to see at the cinema. Once I'd seen that first “Hooked on a Feeling” trailer, I was sold and could not wait to see it. I've been playing the soundtrack on Spotify for weeks. Still, in spite of a strong campaign, there's the sense that Marvel were prepared for this to do poorly. The unusual release date gives this away, I feel. If the film had tanked, the studio could point out that late summer releases rarely do well, and quietly put it down as a failed experiment.


However, it worked. If anything, having a lesser known group of characters is to the film's benefit. Even with the limited knowledge I've gained reading the comics lately, I can see that they've made some tweaks to the characters. Quill's background is altered to fit the style of the film more. Drax's story is hugely simplified. These aren't minor but established characters relaunched under a new title for comics diehards. These are entirely new characters for a new audience, and they need to make an immediate impression.


While there are five central characters, it's Star Lord's Story. Chris Pratt is at the centre of the film as Peter Quill, the only human character in the entire film (although the Nova Corps, on the whole, might as well be). While we discover there is more to him in the end, to begin with Quill is our sole link to Earth, thanks to the heartbreaking opening scene. Honestly, that was wrenching, astonishingly so for such a fun, over-the-top film. It works brilliantly though, making Quill's journey understandable. While the situation is outlandish – abducted by space pirates at the age of ten – it's not far off from any story about a good kid who fell in with the wrong crowd. We can see that Quill's grown up in the wrong direction. Young Peter has been in a fight because he stood up for a frog being killed for fun. Star Lord goes into a heist kicking womprats around. We can see he's turned a little bad.


However, Chris Pratt makes the gun-toting, lizard-kicking, womanising rogue incredibly loveable. It's wonderful that this guy, who shed pounds for the role, won out over other, more recognisable faces. Pratt is becoming a big star now – he's filming Jurassic World now – and here you can see why. He's gorgeous and impossible not to like. What's brave of this film is that, in spite of his origins on Earth and his constant companion of his “Awesome Mix 1” soundtrack, Quill is not much of an identification character. While we can recognise his character type, and he's a human being, he's almost as alien as the other major characters. He hops from planet to planet in his souped-up spaceship, jets around with a rocket pack and beds purple-skinned space babes. He's lived in this universe for twenty-six years. He's not a viewpoint character anymore, and that's a risky move. Undeniably, however, it works., due to some deft scriptwork and Pratt's charm.


The remaining members of the Guardians are all successful. After the Avengers have cohered as a very heroic team, it's refreshing to have a bunch of scoundrels and misfits heading a movie like this. As Quill says, they're all losers – the lost and outcast. Five remarkable but damaged people, thrown together but linked through shared misfortune despite their disparate backgrounds. The one weak link is, sadly, Gamora. While Zoey Saldana is excellent as the sexy green space vixen, turning against her twisted family of Thanos and Nebula, the script does not give her the chance to fully convince. Gamora is supposed to be the most dangerous woman in the galaxy, yet she needs rescuing by the male characters again and again. The only time she comes into her own is in the fight against her sister, and while that is a powerful and exhilarating battle, it's clear that these two are a step below the male protagonists in the hierarchy of the film.


Dave Bautista gets some stick as another wrestler-cum-actor, but he's actually very good as the painfully literal Drax the Destroyer. What could be a run-of-the-mill muscle character is lifted by Bautista's performance into someone strangely innocent and eloquent, while absurdly dangerous. Much of the film, however, belongs to the two CGI members of the team. Much has been made of the ballsy chance taken with Rocket and Groot. However, this is the true joy of the film – that a maniacal talking raccoon and a walking tree that barely qualifies as a speaking role not only feel perfectly reasonable parts of this insane environment, but that they steal every scene they're in. I'm not a big fan of Bradley Cooper, but he gives a perfect performance as Rocket Raccoon, angry and sarcastic but still vulnerable. As for Groot... well, I challenge anyone not to adore Groot. A real triumph of character design, Groot is a huge, deadly yet innocent creature. Vin Diesel manages to imbue those three words with astonishing emotion – it's definitely his best performance since The Iron Giant. Groot is easily my favourite character in the movie, but a special shout-out is warranted for Michael Rooker as Yondu. He basically plays his usual grim-faced self, but blue, and with a hoard of pirates to back him up. Yet he sells the twisted father-son vibe between Yondu and Quill. Also impressive is John C. Reilly as Nova Corps officer and family man Rhomann Dey, the real everyman of the movie.


It's not perfect. Glenn Close, Peter Serafinowicz and Djimon Hounsou are largely wasted. Thanos is merely a background presence in the film, which is fine but unexpected. Still, his brief appearance adds something to the larger universe being constructed here. Sadly, his comicbook authentic look is one of the few visual elements in the film that don't work. He looks like the huge, hench cartoon that he is. The villain role is carried primarily by Lee Pace as Ronan as the Accuser, who does sterling work with what is a very limited part. Much like Malekith in Thor: The Dark World, Ronan is a generic supervillain who would be paper-thin were it not for the work of a decent actor under the make-up. Far more effective is Taneleer Tivan, the Collector, who also has a surprisingly small role in the film. Benicio del Toro gives an absurd and camp performance that is perfectly at home in this bizarre world, but his character strikes me as a more unnerving creation than either Ronan or Thanos. The others are simple-minded “destroy the universe” types. Tivan wants to own the universe, and his petty, unwarranted cruelty marks him out as a far more unsettling character.


Altogether though, this is fantastic, silly, exciting film. It's just fun, through and through, and god we can do with some of that in this era of dark and gritty films. The more serious moments don't feel out of place, and serve to make the silliness and fun worth more. The visuals are truly spectacular – getting Chris Foss in to design the spacecraft was inspired – and the soundtrack, made of seventies classics, is a welcome change from the usual orchestral scores. Even “Cherry Bomb” works in context, and that's a shit song. Also, Cosmo the Space Dog is in it. I bet Warner Bros. Won't have the balls to put Krypto in the Justice League film. Really though, this is, for all its shallow, MacGuffin-hunting plot, is pure science fantasy fun at its best. Star Wars is going to have to be bloody amazing to stand up to this.



Spoilers after the break.