CAPTAIN'S BLOG: TOS 2-22

TOS 2-22) Return to Tomorrow
or
Captain Kirk vs. Space Ghosts

I think the episode order's gone wonky somewhere along the line, but here goes another episode!

The Mission: Explore the far reaches of unexplored space and answer that mysterious signal...

Planets visited: Unnamed in the broadcast episode, the planet is named Arret in the script (which is, of course, Terra backwards). Class-M once, it's had its atmosphere ripped away leaving it desolate and uninhabitable. It's significantly older than Earth. The only area with an atmosphere is deep below the surface. It lies in a system three weeks' signal time from Starfleet.

Alien life forms: Sargon and his people once had a great and advanced civilisation, but destroyed themselves in war after they began to think of themselves as gods. They were originally humanoid, but when their bodies died, the last three of them - Sargon, Henoch and Thalassa - stored their minds in orbs below the planet's surface. Sargon stayed awake for the last half million years, sending out his thoughts to try to find someone else in the universe. Sargon and his lot are basically ghosts; he even says he is "as dead as my planet." They need bodies to rebuild their lives and ask to borrow the crew's bodies so that they can build new android frames, but the human form isn't capable of maintaining their minds for long without burning out.

Six thousand centuries ago, the Arretians began colonising the galaxy. Sargon thinks they may have been the ancestors of humans and Vulcans. While this is dismissed by the human representatives, Spock says that it would explain some holes in Vulcan prehistory.

Captain James T: Kirk risks the potential dangers of beaming into a planet to make contact with the source of the psychic signal. He also seems surprisingly keen to let Sargon borrow his body, making a big speech about how "risk is our business," even though it's pretty clear that it will go horrendously wrong. He says he'll only go head if it's a unanimous decision, but then talks everyone round with some flair. He's convinced that the Arretians will propel humanity ten thousand years into the future. He ends up dead, but gets better.

Captain James T:  Sargon is a noble, idealistic individual, still in love with his wife, Thalassa. He's clearly used to his orders being obeyed, but swears he will let the Enterprise go free if Kirk and his colleagues are against the idea. Shatner reaches new levels of thespian intensity as Sargon.

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin: Spock is keen to explore the ancient civilisation below the planet's surface. His body is more capable of supporting the alien energy forms than the pure humans'. He is able to hide his mind in Chapel's body to help give Henoch the runaround, perhaps giving a look ahead to The Search for Spock. Nimoy is absolutely brilliant at playing a completely new character.

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin:  Henoch is an out-and-out villain from the get-go. He's flirtatious, arrogant and excitable. He uses his powers, enhanced by Spock's own telepathy, to take control of Chapel so that she sabotages Kirk/Sargon's medication so that his body will fail and he can take over. He turns Thalassa against him and basically sounds like he wants to rule the galaxy.

The Real McCoy: Bones is, understandably, frightened of being through miles of solid rock. He's also the voice of reason here, pointing out that allowing unknown aliens to borrow your body is clearly insane and that it's just a little concerning that they've demanded the captain and the first officer. Beneath all that, he feels it's just indecent.

Great Scott: Initially against the bodyswap idea, Scotty is the most swayed by the promise of technology. Kirk promises him a starship engine no bigger than a walnut. James Doohan also provides the booming voice of Sargon (he'll be doing a lot more of this sort of thing in the animated series).

Future Treknology: The aliens create android bodies that use blobs of jelly to perform bodily functions, but will be far more limited than human bodies.

Trek Stars: Diana Muldaur plays one-off character Dr. Ann Mulhall, and her possessor, Thalassa. Mulhall is an astrobiologist, so it's a bit of a surprise she isn't seen before or since.As a lieutenant commander, Mulhall is the highest ranking female Starfleet officer seen in the original series. Muldaur makes a slight character very memorable, and is equally good as the corrupted Thalassa. She'll be back in the following season as Miranda Jones, and throughout the second season of The Next Generation as Dr. Pulaski.

Sexy Trek: As soon as Mulhall arrives, there's romantic music. Thalassa and Sargon get it on in Mulhall's and Kirk's bodies. Henoch, in Spock's body, flirts like hell with Chapel, before hypnotising her.

Cliche Count: Averted when the redshirts are left behind on the transporter pad.

The Verdict: If you accept the conceit of the crew being utterly idiotic, this is a strong episode with a great performance from Leonard Nimoy, getting to be a villain and clearly having a whale of a time.

Brucked it.

I think this says it all, really. The problem with a referendum is that every idiot gets a vote. The higher the turnout, the more idiots vote, it seems. How dare you vote on something you don't understand? Had these been the most popular searches the week before the vote, I would have been relieved. Instead, it happens afterwards, when it's too late.

There were several good reasons to vote to leave the EU. I disagreed with them, strongly, believing that we got a great deal more from the EU than we gave to it. A number of my friends voted to Leave; I felt they were wrong to do so, and still do now, but they had well considered reasons. However, there are undeniable truths to be learnt from analysis of the polls. Votes to Leave skewed heavily with increasing age. Asking younger people why they voted to Leave, and they tend to answer either that they thought it would be better for the economy, our influence or the NHS, or that they aren't really sure why. Asking older people why, they either say that they don't know why, or come out with some nonsense about "taking our country back" or "becoming independent," neither of which makes any kind of sense since we have been an independent sovereign state throughout our time in the EU.

Another trend evident from the polls is that people with better educations tended to vote Stay, while lesser educated people voted Leave. Again, that's not to say that everyone who voted to Leave is foolish, but there's a clear trend. People who voted to Leave, in general, simply do not understand what they have done. The number of people who have since expressed regret at their vote is telling, but it's too late. They should have questioned it before they voted, not after.

Generalisation is a dangerous and unfair thing, but the results are telling. The bulk of people who voted to Leave were older, clinging to an ideal of a Britain which never really existed. The worst I've heard is an idiot who skipped into my place of work, actually dancing with joy, because apparently his friends "died in the War for this." It's a level of idiocy and cultural distortion I cannot stand. WWII was a fight against fascism, that led to greater unity. The Brexit campaign was the opposite. In just the first weekend after the referendum, there has already been a marked increase in verbal abuse against immigrants and citizens of non-white backgrounds. Brexit supporters claimed that this was not a campaign of xenophobia and racism, when the evidence shows it clearly was. The worst kinds of people are already using our leaving as an excuse to let their vitriol run,

There's also the spectacular gullibility of the Brexit supporters. Farage, Hannan and the Boris promised to spend the money previously sent to the EU on the NHS; Farage retracted this immediately once the results were in. Racists and cowards who voted on the promise of a reduction of immigration have since heard from Hannan that this was never possible. People who fell for the idea that we'd have more to say in our trade agreements have since come had to accept the truth that, outside the EU, we'll have less of a say. While the scaremongering on the side of the Stay campaigners was appalling, it was better than the blind rhetoric of the Brexiters, lapping up the bile of the Murdoch press (media owned by an amoral financial tyrant who will see his fortunes improve with less EU control).

On the first day after the referendum, billions had been lost from the UK stock market. Banks were having crisis talks, having lost a quarter of their value overnight (I wonder how long I'll keep my job). The pound had dropped further against the dollar than anytime in the last thirty years. The UK has lost more money in one weekend than it spent on the EU in fifteen years. Our ability to control our destiny in Europe - a continent that we shall forever be part of - has been reduced by our blinkered decision to distance ourselves from it. There will be yet further cuts to try to cope with the fallout. Strong Leave-vote regions, such as Cornwall, are now campaigning to somehow have their EU grants retained. It's too late. You've told the EU to get lost, they aren't going to prop you up anymore. 

While the debate was filled on both sides by scaremongering and rhetoric, one thing that continually came from financial experts was the promise of fiscal chaos if the vote went to Leave. Shock horror, they were right. Imagine that. But no, people didn't want to hear that, as a virulant strain of anti-intellectualism was spearheaded by the likes of Gove. The Murdoch press told us that a vote to Leave was a vote for democracy, and people believed, instead of actually looking at the facts and seeing that there is more power to voters when it comes to EU appointments. Now we can look forward to an unelected Prime Minister, most likely that vicious ball of fuzz, Boris Johnson. A man who never expected to win, who has no plan at all in place for how to take Britain into this new era. A man who changes his allegiance as easily as his socks. A man who is a notorious and outspoken homophobe (oh yes, the protection of LGBT people in the UK is also an EU law. I'm genuinely frightened for anyone who isn't white, British and straight). 

Some people had good and considered reasons for voting to Leave. They were wrong. I don't blame them, I blame the blinkered, the gullible and the elderly who voted to destroy their own descendants' future. Maybe, after a decade of uncertainty and recession, things may stabilise and improve. Maybe England and Wales will sit alone, bankrupt and hate-filled, while Scotland and Northern Ireland take their chance to rejoin Europe and make something of their place in the world. Well done, everyone. You failed.

Anton Yelchin

This truly is a tragic loss. Anton Yelchin was only twenty-seven when he was killed, seemingly as the result of a dreadful accident. Yelchin was best known for his role as Chekov in the new iteration of Star Trek, and his sudden death is going to put a very different complexion on the experience of watching Star Trek Beyond. Yelchin was a fine young actor, although it's clear we had yet to see the best from him. He was the best thing in Terminator Salvation and the Fright Night remake. The bulk of his work I have yet to see, but one thing that I can vouch for is Odd Thomas, a hugely underrated supernatural adventure in which he plays the title role. He'd already been cast in further roles that he will now never play.

Yelchin's personal life makes for some interesting reading itself. Born in Leningrad to a Jewish family, he was raised by people who had experienced a great deal of persecution under the Soviet regime. His family fled the USSR when he was only six months old, having received refugee status. His family were sportspeople and artists, so it's not surprising that he went into the performing arts, beginning acting at the age of nine, beginning a rich career that also involved time in a punk band. He could have gone on to do great things.

WHO REVIEW: The Two Masters Trilogy

AND YOU WILL OBEY ME

VAMPIRE OF THE MIND

THE TWO MASTERS

Big Finish has been especially open to fan demand over the last year or so, and one thing that many fans - including myself - have often hoped for is a "multi-Master" adventure, to compliment the many multi-Doctor stories on the roster. Now that BF have two regular actors in the role, at different points in the character's history, they've finally been able to craft this story. Rather than a one-off, the concept has been used for the latest trilogy of main range releases, with the fifth, sixth and seventh Doctors each taking a chapter. Initially, it seems a straightforward structure, with Geoffrey Beevers portraying his calcifying version of the Master in the first release, followed by Alex Macqueen as his campier, later incarnation, before they team up for the finale. However, these temporally complex stories make it a little more complicated than that.

The trilogy starts with And You Will Obey Me, written by BF stalwart Alan Barnes and tightly directed by Jamie Anderson. Pitting Peter Davison against Geoffrey Beevers, it gives us a combination of hero and villain that we never experienced on television, with Beevers making his one screen appearance as the Master one serial before Davison took over as the Doctor. They work well opposite each other, with the most mild-mannered of Doctors providing stark contrast to this exceedingly sinister and cruel Master.

The story starts on a surprisingly light note, with the Doctor attending an auction for a mysterious but familiar grandfather clock. This begins a sequence of events that leads him to team up with Annie (Sheena Bhatessa), before becoming involved in a plot that stretches from the 1980s to the 21st century, as the Master manipulates three youngsters in a terrible plot. The story takes both Time Lords in unusual directions, with the Doctor put through the moral wringer and the Master becoming a deeply twisted father figure. While he is as sadistic and callous as we've ever seen him, Beevers's Master displays a little more flair and humour here than we're used to. Nonetheless, his final actions are quite horrific; this is the Master at his most coldly evil. It's a strong adventure, with some emotional clout, the only weak element being the alien hunters pursuing the villain. They're rather too cliched and uninteresting to make much impact.

Vampire of the Mind provides a solid middle adventure that pushes the overall story along with some intriguing questions. Once again, the combination of Doctor and Master works well. Both Baker's Doctor and Macqueen's Master are toned down a tad from their usual level of bombast, but their respective egos are enough to create a storm. The Master is somewhat more vulnerable here than we've known him in this incarnation; his memory is full of holes and he is somewhat desperate, but this only serves to make him more ruthless and cruel than ever.

Justin Richards pens the script, and while he's never going to be known for experimental material, he's always good for a straightforward and effective adventure. Vampire of the Mind gives the Doctor another one-off companion - Dr. Heather Threadstone, played very well by Kate Kennedy, and someone I'd be keen to hear return. The Mind Leech - the vampire of the title - is both a pitiful and frightening creature, and once more the Master has taken on an ally/slave that is more than he can fully handle. There are some fun pokes at the cliches of Master stories here, and it ends with a believable, albeit possibly unnecessary, reason for the Doctor to forget about this out-of-sequence encounter with his enemy.

The final instalment, The Two Master itself, is the strongest and most enjoyable of the lot. It's hard to explain just why without spoiling the plot, but some elements are too good not to gush over. Bringing the Master together in two incarnations had the promise to be a Doctor-Doctor encounter turned up to max, and this is just what we have, with the two versions of the villain butting heads as much as they admire each other, double crossing as often as they work together. The Master's cruelty and callous disregard for life reaches new heights here. It seems the Master cannot be trusted by even himself. Hilariously, the dying Master, who is here being manipulated by a lunatic cult, manages to steal his own body. Thus, for much of the runtime we have Macqueen playing the Beevers Master and vice versa. This is just one element of a time-bending storyline that involves whole sections of the timeline vanishing and a threat to the entire universe. It's bizarre and pretty ambitious; suitably apocalyptic for the clash of Masters.

The time-tearing shenanigans also give the trilogy the perfect get-out clause for out-of-sequence meetings and continuity quandarie, and although we finally get to learn what happens to the Master to leave him in the terrible state he was when found on Tersurus (leading into The Deadly Assassin), the nature of the story makes everything questionable enough to ignore this going forward if so wished. As with both previous stories, this is ably directed by Jamie Anderson, although he does overuse the dialogue-free sound in certain sequences. The weakest elements of the story are, sadly, the heroes. Lauren Crace is fine as Jemima, but she's a completely generic companion role to perform, while Sylvester McCoy becomes hard to understand in some of the more dramatic scenes. He does, however, nail the final victory over his doubled-up foe. The Two Masters is a highly effective finale to a very enjoyable series.

Having A Red Dwarf Organised Night

That was our team name. Unfortunately, the acronym does spell HARDON.

Last night, in my greatest quizzing performance since my team got an unprecedented perfect score at the Geekest Link Star Trek special, I attended a Red Dwarf quiz. Along with my lady Suz (the quotation queen), Nick and Steve (quizmasters themselves), I spent a fine evening at the Hope and Ruin public house. It was an excellent quiz, well structured, covering Red Dwarf series I to VI (with a bonus question on each series from VII to X. I wanted a question on series XII, because only I would have had a chance to get it right). There was a picture round, two sound rounds (classic next lines) and a full round for each series. It was also hilarious, with a wonderful turnout. The pub was packed, not a seat spare, and there were people who'd come from as far afield as Newcastle just for the quiz. Even a Czech stayed in the country for a few days longer in order to join in (Red Dwarf  is very popular in the former Czechslovakia). There were prizes for the best team name (a sugarpuff sandwich) and for last place (a pea on toast). Absolutely brilliant stuff. And we nailed it.

Props to Steve for coming up with that name.